


'Cause You're My Home

by Diya1331



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Brotherly Bonding, Bullying, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Falling In Love, Family, Friendship, Gen, Kissing in the Rain, M/M, Musical, Secret Crush, Silent Understanding, Unrequited Love, Youth, dance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25527268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diya1331/pseuds/Diya1331
Summary: NEWS FLASH: Since, their debut 7 years ago, the boy group SEVENTEEN have broken numerous records and secured several achievements. Now, as their recent comeback song hit the no.1 spot on the Billboard, the boy group is getting ready to perform in the upcoming VMAs that will be held in USA.We asked the members about the journey that they had in the past seven years.“It was a journey that was filled with joy… and tears”The story depicts the journey of the thirteen members as they come together. Fighting their insecurities, conquering their fears. A story that tells about love, friendship and a bond that was deeply carved in each of their hearts’.Set in an alternate universe. The Journey of the Thirteen Young Boys…
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Lee Seokmin | DK, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Everyone, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kim Mingyu/Yoon Jeonghan, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi & Lee Seokmin | DK, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Lee Chan | Dino/Everyone, Lee Seokmin | DK/Yoon Jeonghan, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Yoon Jeonghan & Everyone
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	1. Till the Sun Rises Again

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,  
> This is my first time writing a fan-fiction and to be honest I really loved writing this story. Hope you all enjoy it too.  
> Thank You.

**_Jeonghan_ **

“ _Disgraceful child.”_

_“Shameless bastard.”_

_“No one would ever want someone like you. You will always be an unwanted child.”_

The morning sun had already been shielded by the dark, grey clouds that extended throughout the sky. One could already hear the roaring of the clouds, as the lightning brightened up the gloomy surrounding. 

A young boy walked through the meadow of grasses, a cardboard box in his hands. His clothes were shabby with stains of mud. His permed black hair, carefully fell on his forehead. A bright red mark spread across his fair cheeks. One could clearly see the impression of fingers on that cheek.

The wind quickened its pace as the sky darkened more. The drops of rain trickled down his face, as he sat down in front of two warm and fuzzy creatures. One of them, white, snuggled its way to the other one. With its bright, pink nose, it brushed against the fur of the other. The brown one rested its head on his mate, as if protecting it from the heavy rain.

The boy flipped the cardboard box sideways and urged the rabbits to get inside it. He took a few bean seeds and placed it inside the cardboard box. Smelling it, the rabbits hurriedly strode inside. They were safe in that shelter.

A warm smile spread across his handsome face. He looked at the rabbits and petted them.

“Is it comfortable in there? Stay there, okay?” He looked up at the sky as a thunder rumbled. The rain came down heavily. His clothes were drenched, but he continued sitting there.

“It’s really pouring, huh!” He brushed back his wet hair with his fingers. The red mark on his cheek burned as the rain drops rolled down his cheek. For a moment he winced in pain but quickly regained his composure.

All the words came back to him. Again, and again.

‘He was the child that had disgraced his family.’

* * *

_**Joshua** _

“If you face any problem, you tell me.” The young boy’s mother instructed him as she pulled him closer under her umbrella. “Joshua, you won’t keep anything to yourself. This is a new place. It’s okay if you take some time to adjust.” The concern for her son was clearly depicted on her face.

He looked at her and took the umbrella from her hands. He then placed his arms around her shoulder so that the umbrella could protect both of them. “Mom, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

“Even if you are not fine. You won’t tell me.” His mother scolded slightly.

The boy not more than seventeen, smiled a little. His mother knew him too well. How could he be selfish? His mother did everything she could to get through the situation. He needs to be fine. For his mother. 

“Mom.”

“Hmmm?”

“You are okay, right?” She could see her son’s worried face. The eyes that once sparkled was losing its colour gradually. The smile he showed was not his real one. How could she not know? Her son had bottled up all his feelings somewhere deep inside of him.

He won’t show it to anyone.

“We are together right? We’ll be fine. The sun will rise again.” She put on her confident smile as if to reassure her son.

The rains gradually slowed down. They walked along the pathway through the meadow to return home.

“Mom, look.” Suddenly, Joshua pointed at a cardboard box that was placed on the grass. In that, there were two rabbits that snuggled together. His eyes lit up as a warm smile spread across his face. The rabbits were just too adorable.

He quickly walked towards them. “Let’s take them home.” He said. He looked across the meadow and found no one there. The white rabbit purred as it burrowed it’s face in the other’s fur. The brown rabbit looked at him with caution as if studying his intentions.

Joshua bent down and brushed their fur. He was smiling so brightly. “Mom, can we take them?” He looked at her with pleading eyes as he picked up the white rabbit to pet it.

“The rabbits may belong to someone.”

“But who would leave them here?” A slight frown spread across his face.

“Someone who couldn’t take them home. They were in a cardboard box after all. The owner cared for them.”

Joshua understood her words. Its just he wanted to take one home. As he stroked the white rabbit, the brown one ran to his lap. It looked at him intently. Joshua couldn’t make out the gesture and patted it too. The brown one then nudged his hands. The hands that held its mate.

“They need to be together. We should let them be here.” His mother slowly walked towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Joshua’s eyes drooped again but he placed the white rabbit in the box. The other one hurriedly went to accompany it.

“Let’s go home.”

* * *

“Jeonghan, you still sleeping?” A hand poked his cheek as he frowned.

“What is it?”

“Heard that a new student transferred here.” He opened his eyes hearing Mingyu’s voice. A tall boy sat across him, curiously studying his face.

“Who would come to this goddamn school?” Jeonghan replied taking a sip from the tetra pack juice. He looked at the classroom filled with his classmates. He could see right through them. A bunch of hyenas ready to pounce anytime. Who would come here?

If he had a choice, he would never set foot in this school.

He looked at Mingyu as the latter went back to copying his homework. The few friends he made in the past two years of his high school, Mingyu was one of them. In the initial months, they would randomly fight about anything. He just got on his nerves. But gradually he became a close friend. A friend he trusted and shared his thoughts with. One who really needed his protection.

The other sat behind him. A dark-haired boy with round glasses who was immersed in his PSP.

“Wonwoo, did you go home yesterday? You were supposed to meet your parents.” Jeonghan asked.

“No. My parents aren’t back yet.” He replied in a low voice. While Mingyu was the loudest, Wonwoo was quiet and reserved. He kept to himself. Jeonghan messed his hair a little. Wonwoo looked up with a confused look.

Jeonghan smiled.

“Let’s go out. All of us.”

“Yes, yes.” Mingyu was there smiling broadly. “After school. I’ll call Seungcheol too.”

Jeonghan nodded.

“Attention class.” The homeroom teacher took his place at the front of the class as everyone greeted him. “I would like to introduce our new student. Hong Jisoo. He has come from the US, back to his hometown. Hope all of you would accept him graciously.”

A fine boy entered the classroom. His brown hair neatly brushed; his uniform buttoned up. He had a dignified aura around him.

Jeonghan looked at him curiously. His eyes lingered on that gentle smile that the new boy had on his face. The eyes that were smiling too.

There was nothing wrong with Jisoo. He was the perfect gentleman, Yet why was he feeling uneasy? His heart beat grew faster as he continued to stare at him.

Suddenly, an emptiness filled him.

_Just what was wrong?_

“Hello. I’m Hong Jisoo. You all can call me Joshua. I am happy to be a part of this class. I hope all of you will accept my presence.” His words were crisp yet refined. He slightly bowed.

“Good. Now that it’s settled. Why don’t you find a seat?” The homeroom teacher looked at the class. All the girls suddenly became overly cautious about their appearance. A handsome boy sitting next to them. Every girl squealed in joy. The boys tried to brush him off but still the new boy irked them.

Suddenly the teacher exclaimed, “The seat next to Jeonghan is empty. You can take that.”

His head shot right up as he stared at Joshua. Jeonghan was still unable to sort out his uneasy feelings. To top that the new boy would be sitting right next to him. Yeah right. What could possibly go wrong? His narrowed his eyes keeping it still on him, as Joshua thanked the teacher and proceeded to take his seat.

The girls in the class scowled seeing their precious boy being taken away from them. They threw a dirty look at him but he didn't pay attention to them. Joshua could now feel his stares. _Why is this boy named Jeonghan staring at him?_ He brushed off his cheek to see if something was on his face. _Nope. Nothing. Then why?_

He cautiously took the seat next to him. He smiled and said a ‘hello’. Jeonghan didn’t answer.

Yup things were just wrong.

He focused on the math class, as he lagged in that subject. He could still feel those eyes on him. _Why was Jeonghan gawking at him?_ He turned to look at him. Jeonghan rested his head on his fingers as he continued to stare. No one said anything, just continued to gaze at each other.

Both of them could feel an uneasy tension between them. No one acted upon it.

“Why?” Jeonghan finally asked as he let out a sigh.

“What?” Joshua exclaimed in a low voice.

“Why did you come here?” Joshua felt a little hurt hearing those words. He lowered his face and let out a breath.

“I didn’t have a choice.” He replied.

Jeonghan looked at him closely. Somewhere, something about Joshua hurt him. He didn’t know why. He could clearly see the sad expression on his face. He could see those smiling eyes that suddenly turned gloomy. Somewhere it pinched Jeonghan.

Joshua shouldn’t have come here. He was too innocent to be here.

* * *

“Are you planning on leaving that place?” Seungcheol asked as he placed a bottle of beer in front of them. Jeonghan was already tired as he lied down on the couch beside him.

“I cannot. I cannot leave Seokmin there.” He answered as he took a sip from the beer. Seungcheol looked at his friend. He could see the dark circles that piled up under Jeonghan’s eyes. He felt helpless. All he could do was listen to him.

“You both can just move here. The five of us. We’ll share.”

Jeonghan smiled a little. No way would he be able to do that. Seungcheol was from a small rural town. He moved to the city when he was in middle school. His parents used up all their savings to provide a better education for their son. Jeonghan knew all of that. He was his first friend after coming here. Jeonghan was a witness to all the hardship this young boy faced. How could he move here? He cannot be a burden to him.

“Why the hell did you order a pizza? I was cooking ramen for you all.” Mingyu scowled as he brought a hot pan from the kitchen. His face was full of disappointment as he saw the two boxes of pizza.

“Just keep the ramen here.” Seungcheol said. Instantly his face lit up as he placed the hot pan on a stand. “Call Wonwoo too.”

Mingyu and Wonwoo had moved in with him a year back. Wonwoo’s parents had a transferrable job. So, he decided to stay here with Seungcheol. As for Mingyu, let’s just say he just followed Wonwoo there.

The four of them gathered around the table as they feasted on the pizza and ramen.

“Drink less, eat more.” Mingyu said as he placed a spoonful of ramen in Jeonghan’s bowl. His friends really took care of him. He placed the beer can aside and started gulping down the ramen.

“Oh right, how was your first day with the new boy?” Wonwoo suddenly asked with a solemn face. Jeonghan choked on the ramen as he continued coughing. He drank the beer to soothe it.

“Yeah careful.” Seungcheol patted his back. Mingyu let out a laugh while Wonwoo looked at the three of them. What happened? Did he say something wrong? He was just curious. He looked at Mingyu for help but was instead met with a smirk. His confusion grew more.

The person more muddled was still Jeonghan. He didn’t know as to why he suddenly choked after hearing about Joshua. As he let out breaths after choking, he imagined about his day in class. With Joshua. No, it was wrong. Everything about it was wrong. The uneasiness returned again.

It was beyond Seungcheol as to why the boys were acting so weird. Although they studied in the same school, Seungcheol was in a different section. He had no idea as to what happened in their class. Although he did hear rumours about a foreign boy joining his grade. Seeing Jeonghan’s silence, a slight anxiety started building in his heart.

“So, the new boy is in your class?” Seungcheol asked Wonwoo.

“Yeah. The teacher instructed him to sit with Jeonghan.” He replied as he finished his ramen.

“Joshua is a nice kid, I think. He was really polite with everyone.” Mingyu continued. “Oh, and he is good-looking too.”

“He came from the US and he stays with his mother here.” Wonwoo continued.

“Yeah, and he has a really good accent. I think the girls are already getting ready to confess.” He giggled.

Jeonghan stayed silent the whole time. Listening to every word they said about him. He could feel Seungcheol’s eyes on him from time to time. He felt the need to explain to him. That he was just another boy in his class. That they didn’t talk much.

But he didn’t say anything.

The anxiety from before arose a little. Although the boys didn’t notice, Seungcheol was still fidgeting a little. He expected Jeonghan to say something but the latter was just too quiet.

“He should be getting along well with Jeonghan here.” Mingyu said gathering the now empty bowls.

“I want him to leave.” Jeonghan said in a low voice.

The three of them stared at him. Jeonghan swigged down his beer can and stood up.

“I should go. Seokmin should be home by now.” The others nodded while Seungcheol got up to walk him to the door.

“Don’t fight, Jeonghan.” He said. Jeonghan placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ll be careful.”

As he closed the door, Seungcheol let out a sigh. The anxiety in his heart had calmed already. _He is not attached to the new boy. He wanted him to leave_. Seungcheol explained to himself.

The sun had long set and the sky was already dark. The streetlights lit up the pavement. As he walked towards home, Jeonghan thought about his words earlier.

Only he knew the actual meaning behind those words.

 _He couldn’t bear to see him suffer_.

* * *

“Joshua?”

He looked up from his textbook as his name was called. A few girls surrounded him as they all grinned about something. One of them suddenly pushed his textbook aside and sat on his desk.

Wonwoo couldn’t help but look up at the group that gathered right in front of him. They surrounded the new boy like wolves hunting for their prey. He scanned the classroom for a certain someone.

_This was bad. Really bad._

Joshua could easily feel the situation in front him. His smile didn’t waver for once. Some of the boys now joined them. They were all slowly ganging up on him. He didn’t have a choice but to comply with the situation. He looked at the seat beside him. It was empty.

He let out a small sigh.

“Where is Jeonghan?” Wonwoo whispered to Mingyu. They knew the situation was no good. This group was responsible for numerous incidents in school. Some that were unspeakable.

“He went to the library.” Mingyu replied. A slight concern in his tone for the new boy.

“So, Joshua. Are you free after school?” The girl batted her eyelashes as she bent a little forward. Joshua sat still in his place. He didn’t want to answer that question. He continued to keep the smile to maintain his composure.

“The girls were thinking of going to karaoke today. We thought you should join us.” A boy sat down next to him right in Jeonghan’s seat. Yeah, that was the intimidation the gang created on him. No way in hell that would be a normal karaoke. Joshua knew that very well. He could easily think what would happen there.

The girls continued giggling. The one on his desk eyed him flirtatiously. The whole classroom now joined the commotion. They all watched as the show played right in front of them.

“I am going to go call Jeonghan.” Mingyu couldn’t take it anymore. He placed the book down. “Don’t interfere till I come.” He instructed Wonwoo.

“I am relatively new here. I still have to catch up a lot on my studies.” Joshua maintained a calm demeanour as he said those words. He looked up to smile at the girl, hoping to evade the situation.

He didn’t know that they were the best in their play.

“Oh, we’ll help you with that then. Why don’t you come over to my place? I’ll help you with your assignments.” Her fingers trailed along his shoulders. The girls became more excited as they all laughed about.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? You should’ve already said yes to them.” One of the boys exclaimed from behind.

_There was no getting away from this. He couldn’t deny them in anyway. It’s okay then. He can do it. Just one night then. It wouldn’t hurt if it’s just one night. Right?_

He was doubtful

These people were the ones he didn’t want to make friends with.

“Scram.”

A voice got all their attention. They turned to look at the boy who dared to interrupt them. Joshua let out a small sigh. He was relieved.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” The girl stood up to him as the gang turned their attention to him.

Jeonghan walked past her to his seat. Seeing that, the girl raged, shouting curses at him. He ignored all of that.

“That’s my seat.” He said. The boy from before was still sprawled on his chair. An exchange of glares took place but the boy finally left the seat. Jeonghan took his seat as he continued with his work. Joshua couldn’t help but be grateful at the right timing of Jeonghan. He looked at him with gratitude but the latter ignored.

“Joshua, you’re coming right? At my place then.” The girl didn’t even wait for his answer as she approached to give him her number.

“He can’t.”

Joshua was taken aback, so were the others. Jeonghan looked up as he continued. “We’ll be working on the math assignment.”

Joshua didn’t dare say a word. _Just go with it._

“We can help him too.” The girl was too annoyed now. Jeonghan couldn’t help but smirk.

“With your grades. I’m not so sure.”

The whole class laughed out loud.

“You-”

“Silence. Everyone back to your seats.” The teacher had already entered.

The gang dispersed. Each giving a disgusting look at Jeonghan.

Joshua let out a deep breath. He never felt more relieved. He looked at Jeonghan to say something.

“You don’t have to say thanks.” Jeonghan said as he sat there writing notes on his copy. All the gratitude Joshua had puffed up. He nodded his head in denial.

“I was going to ask what was the math assignment.” Joshua said. Initially he did want to say thanks. But Jeonghan already did that. It was a little annoying.

He kept his pen and looked at him. _So, this foreign boy can get annoyed_. Jeonghan was amused to see a different side of Joshua. The latter always kept a smile on his face. But now he was frowning a little. He felt a little flutter in his heart. He rested his head on his fingers as he continued to watch him. “It’s from last week. I’ll give you the questions. Submission is tomorrow.” Jeonghan said.

Joshua felt dejected. Maths was not his strong suit. His facial expressions changed. From dejection to annoyance and then again back to dejection. Jeonghan couldn't help but laugh a little.

He was in the middle of his assignment when Mingyu came up to him in the library. He had dropped everything and ran to find Joshua. At that time he couldn't think of anything else. Just that Shua needed him. 

Joshua could feel his stares. He ignored and continued taking notes.

“Shua?” The voice was soft.

“Hmmm?” He looked at Jeonghan.

_Why did this feel so natural? Like, it was always meant to be like this._

“Let’s do the assignment together.”

***

It was dusk, as the sky turned into a brilliant orange. The two of them walked across the meadow after school. Joshua looked for the two rabbits that he saw inside the cardboard box.

“Why didn’t you refuse?” Jeonghan asked as he looked at him. “You should’ve refused. They are like wolves. No one will come to your rescue. You should stand up for yourself.”

Joshua didn't reply.

They walked silently. Suddenly, Joshua’s face lit up. He found the cardboard box that he was looking for. He quickly walked towards it. Jeonghan stood there, stunned.

Joshua kneeled in front of the box. The two rabbits were still there, cuddled to each other. They were eating a few seeds that they had found probably. A gentle smile lit his face as he started brushing their fur.

Jeonghan stood there watching him. _How did he know about those rabbits?_ He quietly walked to where he was sitting. The rabbits seeing him, immediately ran to greet him. They played around his feet. Joshua looked at him and understood everything.

They each took a rabbit and petted it.

“I know.” Joshua said. Jeonghan looked at him. “I know. About the different rumours. The harassment and bullying this school has. I know about it.” He paused for a bit. “My mother wants me to have a normal school life. Having friends, going out on dates. That’s what would make her happy. She would be heart-broken if she saw me fighting or anything. I cannot do that to her.”

Jeonghan’s face softened a little. At that moment he wanted to protect the boy sitting in front of him. He wanted to preserve that innocent smile, that gentle nature and those smiling eyes. He wanted to treasure all of that. Joshua looked back at him. Jeonghan just shied away. He didn’t expect him to meet his eyes at that moment.

“You are a mamma’s boy then.” Jeonghan smirked a little, cutting down the awkwardness.

“Say what you want.” Joshua put the white rabbit down and continued on his way home.

“Wait up.” Jeonghan called after him as he put down the other rabbit and followed him.

It was not that he felt annoyed at his words. But he couldn’t help frown at the scars that Jeonghan had on his palm. Joshua noticed the whip marks on his hands. He clenched his fist. Who would do such a gruesome thing to a young boy? He couldn’t help feel a little anger but then also worried about Jeonghan. Just how was this boy living? His heart sank a little. There were emotions surging inside him but he tried to calm himself.

Joshua unlocked the door. “Where are your parents?” Jeonghan asked.

“Mom is at the hospital.” Jeonghan looked at him. “She’s a doctor.”

Jeonghan nodded as he followed him inside.

“Take a seat.” Joshua instructed. He kept his bag aside on the table while he went to his room. Jeonghan took a seat on the couch. He looked around taking in the interior of the house.

“My parents divorced a few months back.” Jeonghan heard Joshua’s voice as the latter came out taking a first-aid box in his hand. Joshua was more relaxed now. He sat down in front of him opening the box.

“Apparently my father had another family that we didn’t know of. Mom couldn’t handle the betrayal. I saw her crying every night during the entire divorce process. The day the papers were signed, she decided to come back here. To start afresh. This was her hometown.” Joshua dabbed the cotton with the red liquid. Jeonghan looked at him in confusion. Suddenly, Joshua took his hand in his and started dabbing the cotton on his palm. Jeonghan was so astonished that he sat there still. He just couldn’t process the situation. _Shua saw his wounds. The ones he received last night from the whip_. He tried very hard to keep it hidden. When did he see it? His eyes focused on him. Joshua continued to dab the cotton gently on the deep cuts on his palm. He was so gentle that Jeonghan couldn’t help but soften a little. Those beautiful features that he had come to like a little. He smiled looking at him. There was something different about this boy that attracted him. “I’ve never been here before.” Joshua continued as he put an ointment on the wound and then started bandaging it tenderly. Not for once did Jeonghan take his eyes off him. Somehow, he just wanted to savour this very moment as long as possible. “But I wanted to support her. I wanted to be with her. So, I didn’t say anything. When I said I didn’t have a choice I meant this. How can I be selfish?” Joshua finished wrapping the bandage and looked up.

He eyes widened as he was slightly taken aback. He didn’t imagine that Jeonghan’s face was so close to his. Shua immediately looked away as his heart paced. It was not that he didn’t notice Jeonghan’s handsome face before. Its just, now he was so close. He could still feel his eyes on him as his breathing escalated. He looked up again to meet those warm eyes. His eyes trailed along his face as he noticed every inch of that fair skin. This boy was strikingly beautiful.

Jeonghan smiled a little. He could notice the nervous expressions on Shua’s face. But he didn’t have any intention to look away. He brushed off a strand of hair from his face. Shua's cheeks reddened. Jeonghan’s smile grew more. He was thoroughly enjoying teasing him.

The door unlocked suddenly.

Both the boys jerked back from each other. Jeonghan settled down at the corner of the couch while Joshua stood up to look at the door. It happened in seconds.

“Mom.” Joshua called as his mother entered with a bag of groceries in her hand. She smiled brightly as she saw Jeonghan sitting on the couch.

“You brought a friend home? Why didn’t you tell me? I should’ve bought some more snacks.” She said as she kept the grocery bag on the table. Jeonghan stood up to greet her.

“I didn’t know you would be coming back so soon.” Joshua grumbled a little. His mother grinned. She understood what was going on.

“I’ve never met such a handsome boy before. I am Joshua’s mother.” She smiled as she introduced herself.

“Hello. I am Yoon Jeonghan.”

Joshua walked past them. Jeonghan was being well-behaved now. A few minutes back he was teasing him. Joshua couldn’t help but feel a bit annoyed. He lost his composure before. He didn’t think that he would be teased by a boy of the same age as him. He took out a Cola can from the fridge.

They were happily chatting as his mother entertained Jeonghan of Joshua’s childish behaviour. A vein popped on his forehead. _Was this really necessary?_ But his mother was smiling. She was so happy. Even Jeonghan felt comfortable with her.

_Its okay as long they are happy._

_What! Did he just think about Jeonghan again?_

“You both go ahead. Finish your assignments. I’ll bring you both some snacks.” She looked at Jeonghan. “Please help Shua a little. He can be annoying at times I know. Bear with him Jeonghan.” Jeonghan chuckled. He turned to look at Shua. He could see the vein that popped up on Shua’s forehead. His smirk grew bigger.

Shua walked up to them carrying his bag. He showed Jeonghan the way to his room.

“Joshua?” He turned to look at his mother staring at the first-aid box. “Is everything okay? Do you need help?”

“Its fine Mom. Don’t worry about it.” Joshua replied.

Seeing that her son didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t urge anymore. Afterall the bandage on Jeonghan’s hand was quite prominent.

But when she was talking about help, she didn’t mean his hands.

A deep cut protruded from the collar on Jeonghan’s back. She noticed it.

* * *

“How many times have I told you not to go there? How many times have I told you not to bring shame to our family? You shameless bastard.” The whip fell on his back as a woman screeched. A boy not more than fifteen, curled up at the corner of the untidy room. There were plates broken and napkins disordered. Tears rolled down his eyes, as the whip fell on his back again. He didn’t make a single sound. He winced in pain as the cuts grew deeper on his back. He clenched his teeth taking it all in.

“Don’t you understand how disgraceful you are? Wasn’t the rejection enough to open your eyes? No one wants you. Don’t you see it?” The screams continued.

Seokmin curled up more. He tried, didn’t he? He tried his best. The first time he was called for an audition, he was rejected. The panel had asked him to practice more. That he had a beautiful voice but he had to practice. So, he met someone with whom he could undergo his vocal training. He was trying his best. Why couldn’t they notice that?

“Wasting my money. Fucking bastards, all of you.” As she used her strength to bring down another whip lash, she was stopped by a hand. The whip cut into the bandage, as blood oozed out.

“Enough.” Jeonghan shouted. Seokmin looked up at his elder brother. He could see how blood trickled down the bandage, turning it red. He tried to stand up but flinched. His cuts were deeper. “Haven’t you had enough? Stop it.”

She laid a tight slap on his face. “How dare you stop me? I have taken you both from the streets and gave you a home to live in. Without me you would have been wandering, begging on the streets. Is this how you repay me?”

“Home? You call this fucking place home? You have treated us like animals.”

“Shut the fuck up.” The room reeked of alcohol as a man entered. He had a cane in his hand. Jeonghan took a step back. The situation was much worse than he had anticipated. He urged Seokmin to get up. The alcoholic man was beyond anyone’s control.

“You both wasted my money. I lost my money because of you both. I should’ve left you on the streets. How dare you retort?” The woman took a step back, clearly afraid at the horrifying nature of her husband. She was accustomed to it. The bruises on her body proved it. “How dare you?” The man shouted as he brought down the cane on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

“Jeonghan-hyung?” Seokmin was astonished to see the terrifying scene that unfolded in front of him. Jeonghan had lost all his strength as he immediately fell on his knees. The pain from the bruise pierced his body like a thousand knives. As the man brought down his cane once again, Seokmin caught it immediately.

“I won’t go. I won’t go anymore. I won’t waste your money. I promise. Please. Please don’t beat him.” Seokmin pleaded with all his heart. He kneeled down in front of them and kowtowed. He begged them repeatedly. “Please. Please don’t hit him. He’s my only family. Please don’t hit him. I beg of you.”

Jeonghan clenched his fists. The bandage that Shua made was already soaked in blood. How did everything turn out like this? One moment he was smiling with Shua and now his brother was begging for him. Just how was fate that it played such games with him.

Cringing in pain, he still stood up. Although the ache on his shoulder escalated, he tolerated the pain. “Seokmin get up.”

“Jeonghan-hyung?” Seokmin looked at him, surprised.

“Get up. Pack your bags. We are leaving tonight.” Jeonghan instructed. Seeing the determination on his face, Seokmin immediately obeyed.

“Where would you go? No one will take you in.” The woman shrieked.

“That is none of your business.” Jeonghan answered.

“You unwanted child. Would you go back to the streets again? No one wants you. No one.”

Jeonghan ignored her. It didn’t matter anymore.

He just needed to keep his brother safe. That’s all.

* * *

Jeonghan dialled Seungcheol’s number but then disconnected it.

“What’s wrong?” Seokmin asked as they walked down the dark streets. It was already past dinner time and they still didn’t have anything. Seokmin had initially assumed that they would be going to the apartment where his brother’s friends lived. But seeing him disconnect the call confused him.

“We cannot go to their place. It will be a burden.” Jeonghan pondered on his anxiety. Where would they go? Just for a few days they needed somewhere to stay. Before he could get a decent job and provide for them both.

Seokmin crouched. His back was heavily bruised with cuts. The pain was severe and he couldn’t take it anymore. Jeonghan bent down beside him. How could he let this happen? How could he let his brother suffer so much? The anger, the tears, all piled up. But he fought back all of it.

“Let’s take you to a doctor first.” Jeonghan knew exactly where they were going.

*****

“So, did you complete your assignment?” Shua’s mother asked as she served a bowl of spaghetti. The two of them sat for their dinner. Fortunately, she was not on-call tonight. She could get some time to spend with her son.

“Hmmm yes.” Joshua answered as he ate the noodles.

“Are you ready to tell me now then?” Joshua looked at his mother. “The cuts on Jeonghan. How did he get that?”

Shua’s eyes fell.

“I don’t know. I just noticed it as we were returning home. He didn’t say anything.”

“I wonder what deeds did he do to receive such punishment.”

“No.” Joshua immediately spoke up. His mother watched him as he spoke. “I don’t think it was his fault. I mean I don’t know what exactly happened. But Jeonghan doesn’t get into trouble. He is quite calm and composed. Good in his studies. I don’t think he would do something that required this treatment.” Joshua frowned.

“You were very observant then.” His mother smiled a little. His face reddened. _Why was he defending him suddenly? He didn’t know what Jeonghan was like? Or did he?_

The door bell rang.

“At this hour?” His mother exclaimed as Joshua went to open the door. The clouds in the sky rumbled again. It would rain again today.

He was startled at the sight of the two boys.

Jeonghan looked at him. He had a haggard look on his face. Shua stared at the blood-soaked bandage. His heart tightened.

 _Jeonghan was hurt_.

Beside him a young boy crouched down. His shirt was blood soaked too from the wounds that extended his back.

“Who is it Shua?” His mother called as she approached the door. Seeing the sight of the two boys she understood the situation. A case of domestic violence.

“I am sorry for intruding at this hour. Could you please look at my brother here?” Jeonghan exclaimed in a low voice. A voice filled with guilt yet concern for his brother.

“Come in.” She took a hold of Seokmin’s arms and immediately brought him to the couch.

Joshua didn’t say a word. His eyes were fixated on Jeonghan. Jeonghan let out a small smile and turned around to walk away.

_Where was he going?_

_Why didn’t he come inside?_

Joshua’s eyes followed the black silhouette that walked away from him. He looked back at his mother. She had started to nurse the boy’s wounds. She looked up to meet her son’s worrisome face. There was no Jeonghan beside him.

She smiled. “Go.”

Joshua didn’t wait for another word. He ran after him.

The wind howled as the rain picked up its pace. Jeonghan squatted down in front of the cardboard box as he watched the two rabbits playing. Tears accumulated in his eyes and this time he didn’t fight back. How could he let this happen? His brother was beaten to an extent that he couldn’t even stand. For all these years he tolerated their harangue. But never once complained. Was it that? He should’ve fought back from the beginning. _Why didn’t he?_

It had been years since their parents passed away. Jeonghan was only ten. His family along with his aunt’s family made a trip to the beach. But they never made it. A road accident killed the four of them. His cousin Seokmin was only eight and he barely made it. Jeonghan took the role of an older brother from then on. They moved from one foster home to another but Jeonghan always kept his brother close. While others couldn’t bear the expense to raise the two children, this family adopted them.

Initially all was well. Jeonghan had finally thought that they could call this place as their home. But all fell apart when the family business crashed. His foster father started drinking then. Still his foster mother took care of them. Until the time when Seokmin was called for an audition. A manager from an agency saw him in his middle school’s annual function.

His foster parents were finally happy. Their son could bring home the money they had been losing. They dressed him up well with expensive clothes so that he could appeal the panel.

But all fell apart when he returned home rejected.

That night was the first time that they used a whip on them.

He knelt as he petted the rabbits. The heavy rain had already drenched his clothes. He couldn’t go back anymore. How could he? He saw this face. The shock on his face as he stood at the door. Shua’s eyes were fixated on him. He couldn’t look anywhere else.

He had disappointed him too. He closed his eyes and took in a few deep breaths.

“Jeonghan.” He heard that gentle voice call out his name. His fists clenched tightly.

“Shua.” He spoke with a broken voice. “Go away.”

“Come back with me.” Shua begged him. He could feel an unknown fear in his heart. Jeonghan was right in front of him. _Why did he feel this way? Why was he so scared?_ His heart raced in anxiety.

“I won’t go back.” Jeonghan stood up. His back still faced him. He didn’t have the courage to look back. “I am leaving Shua.”

“Where are you going?” Shua took a few steps forward as he approached him.

“I am leaving school. I will go look for work. I need to provide for my brother.”

Shua stopped in his tracks.

The rain poured heavily. The two boys stood there as the thunder disturbed the silence.

“Can you take care of my brother for a few days? I’ll thank your mother personally the next time we meet.” Jeonghan continued.

His heart ached. The thought of not seeing Jeonghan again, Shua could not imagine it. He took a few steps forward towards Jeonghan. How could he not see him again? From the very first day of his school, he only noticed him. He would secretly steal glances at him whenever he could. He envied his friends because he wanted to be one of them. So, when Jeonghan suggested to do the assignment together, he was filled with immense joy. He would get to be his friend too.

So, why now he had to leave him? What would he do if he left him? Would he go back to his shell again? Jeonghan brought out all his emotions again. So, did he have to go back now?

Did he have to lose yet another person he loved?

He held his arms as he rested his head on his shoulders.

Jeonghan turned slightly. Shua held him tightly.

“I’ll come with you then.” Shua said. Jeonghan’s eyes widened. _What was he saying?_ “If you leave, I’ll leave with you.”

 _No. No, he can’t do that_. Jeonghan took his hands in his as he turned back. Shua looked at him with a determined face. His hands held his tightly. Jeonghan was ready to give him a lecture but seeing his face he couldn’t say anything.

“I don’t want you to leave. But if you do, I’ll come with you.” Shua said as he held onto Jeonghan’s hands. “I cannot lose another person. Especially the one I love.”

He stared at that gentle face. _What was he saying? Wasn’t he always the unwanted child?_ But Shua stood right there ready to go with him. Jeonghan could understand the tremble in Shua’s voice. Cause somewhere he felt the same thing. For the first time in years he felt alive. He had smiled and laughed with this boy. Could he give up all of that now? But, how could he?

How could a person give up on living? Because that’s what he felt. With Shua, he felt like he was living. Smiling and laughing. He felt like a person who deserved to be wanted.

To be loved.

He smiled as he looked at Shua’s face. “What about your mother?” Jeonghan teased him a little. He had already made up his mind.

“I think she would understand. I’ll convince her.” Shua hesitated. “We’ll talk to her.”

Jeonghan laughed. He brushed his cheek with his fingers. Shua leaned in to feel his touch.

The rabbits were fast asleep. The rain continued to pour.

They stood there. Shua closed his eyes as Jeonghan kissed his lips. He placed his hand on his cheek as he bent in to kiss him back. Their lips melted into each other in perfect harmony.

This moment. Everything fell into place.

Jeonghan rested his forehead against his.

“Shua, let’s stay here.”

* * *

“You couldn’t give me one call? Just one call.” Seungcheol’s voice raged from the other side of the phone. Jeonghan paced around Shua’s room. This was the moment he was terrified of. When both of them came back drenched in rain Shua’s mother scolded them about how health should be their priority. No one uttered a single word against that. They quietly listened to her concerns. Each one was instructed to take a warm shower.

Shua’s mother had already dressed Seokmin’s wounds. She had stuffed them with dinner and advised them to go to bed. Jeonghan was not once nervous in those situations. But now as he paced in the room, he could only imagine how Seungcheol would rebuke him.

Shua entered with a warm cup of milk. His eyes fell on the nervous Jeonghan pacing around. He grinned a little. Somehow Jeonghan looked adorable. So Shua’s eyes continued to follow him.

“Was it too difficult? I had told you to shift to my apartment. Why the fuck were you so stubborn?” Seungcheol continued. “And just how did you end up going to the new boy’s place?”

“Seokmin needed his wounds treated. Shua’s mother is a doctor.” Jeonghan answered carefully. He turned to look at Shua smiling at him. Shua walked to him and leaned on the desk beside him. 

“How is he now?” Seungcheol asked.

“He is better. Shua’s mother instructed him to stay at home for a few days to rest.” Jeonghan replied.

“So, now what? You both are going to stay there from now on? Permanently?” His voice was filled with resentment. His concern for Jeonghan over-powered his tone of voice.

“I don’t know yet.” Shua could hear Jeonghan’s conversation with his friend. He frowned a bit. Jeonghan looked at him and assured him with a nod that it was fine. Shua relaxed but bent forward to kiss Jeonghan’s hair. The latter glared at him. Shua chuckled.

“Well, I am coming over tomorrow then. I want to see you both.” Seungcheol said. Jeonghan was about to deny it but Shua held him back.

“Let him come.” He whispered to Jeonghan.

“Hmmm okay. Come over. I have something to tell you.” Jeonghan replied back.

“Alright. Take care you both. And-” Seungcheol hesitated before continuing, “Can you thank him from me?” Both Shua and Jeonghan smiled.

“I will.”

Jeonghan let out a deep breath after disconnecting the call.

“He is concerned about you.” Shua said offering the cup of milk to Jeonghan.

“Hmm. We have been friends for a long time now. He worries.” Jeonghan replied taking a sip from the cup.

Shua didn’t reply. He continued staring at Jeonghan.

“What?” Jeonghan asked looking at the staring Shua. He didn’t reply. Instead he leaned forward for a kiss.

“Jeonghan-hyung?” Seokmin suddenly entered. The thought of the kiss disappeared as both of them looked away from each other. Joshua leaned to take a paper from Jeonghan’s back to avoid suspicion.

“What’s wrong?” Jeonghan asked.

“Shua-hyung’s mother is calling him, so I came here.”

Joshua turned to go look for his mother. Seokmin stayed behind. “Did she say anything?” Jeonghan asked curiously.

“No. Nothing” Seokmin replied. He looked much better and somehow his happy smile returned back.

“You okay?” Jeonghan asked as he placed his hands on his shoulder.

“Yup yup. Shua-hyung’s mother is amazing.” He beamed in joy as he continued to talk about the conversation they had earlier.

Meanwhile Joshua helped his mother clean the table.

“I heard about it from Seokmin.” She said while putting a plate back in the cupboard. Jeonghan explained to Shua about the situation as they returned back. “What do you want to do?”

“I want him to stay, Mom. I don’t want to lose him.” Shua replied in a soft voice. His mother let out a sigh. After a long time, her son was smiling again. How could she not notice that it was all because of Jeonghan?

“Shua?” Jeonghan called out to him gently as he approached them. He apologized to Shua’s mother. “I apologize for intruding. I just...” he paused for a bit before continuing. “I will take full responsibility for my brother and I. I will get a job to support my brother so that he could finish school.” Shua looked at him nervously.

“What about your school?” She asked.

“I’m already on scholarship so I will be able to finish my high-school. This October I’ll turn eighteen. After that I can take care of my brother independently. Its just. For a few days. If you could just let us stay. Till I find a job.” Jeonghan hesitated on his last words. He bowed a little to show his gratitude.

She smiled. “You are still a teenager. Why are you acting so mature?” Jeonghan looked up, surprised. Even Shua was astounded. “I have only one son. I would gladly accept two more. So, stay here, as long as you like.”

She didn’t comply much further. She could see the guilt that Jeonghan had for barging in and asking her to stay with this brother. To be honest, she was ready to provide for the both of them. But knowing Jeonghan now, he would drown in his guilt. If he wanted to work and provide for themselves, she would never deny that. She could see the brilliant smile that Shua had. How long has she craved to see her son smiling that way? Her divorce broke a part of him too. He had covered himself with a shell.

But now he was gradually breaking out of that. That was all she wanted.

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” Jeonghan replied.

“Now, go and take some rest.” She smiled as she returned to her room.

As they entered the room, a smiling Seokmin greeted them. He was sitting on the bed with Joshua’s guitar, playing a tune.

“Shua-hyung, do you play the guitar? Can you play it now?” Seokmin was so excited. Music was one thing that he cherished more than anything. Jeonghan closed the door behind them while Shua took the guitar from Seokmin.

“Shouldn’t you be resting? Go to sleep.” Joshua said as placed the guitar at the side of his table. Seokmin looked dejected. He was really expecting a tune to sing to. “I’ll play for you tomorrow.” Shua assured him.

“Also, can I sleep here?” Seokmin continued.

“Aren’t you being annoying?” Jeonghan interrupted as he placed his assignment in his bag.

“It’s not like you both were up to something.” Seokmin retorted. Jeonghan’s face reddened while Joshua let out a slight cough.

“You can stay here. It’s okay.” Shua smiled as he packed his own bag. Seokmin continued to hum a song that he recently heard. Jeonghan took off his contacts and wore his glasses.

Shua couldn’t take his eyes off him. He had never seen him with glasses before. Somehow Jeonghan’s this look was too attractive. Jeonghan curled his lips as he felt Shua’s eyes on him.

“Jeonghan-hyung?” Then there was Seokmin interrupting their moment. Shua climbed onto the bed. Jeonghan leaned on his pillow playing with Shua’s hair then proceeding to stroke his adam’s apple. “What are we going to do?” Seokmin continued.

It was past midnight. The rain had long stopped and they could hear the distant hooting of an owl. The three of them lay on bed.

“We’ll figure something out. Don’t worry.” Jeonghan replied assuring his brother.

“You both can stay here for as long as you like.” Shua continued. Jeonghan trailed his fingers through his hair.

“I just want us to be happy. I just want everyone to be happy.” Seokmin said as he let out a sigh. “Jeonghan-hyung, Shua-hyung?”

Both of them looked at the smiling Seokmin.

“Let’s stay together for a long, long time.”


	2. Coming Home to You

_**Seungkwan** _

_He opened his eyes._

_It was still blurry. His eyes had to get adjusted to the light. He lay down for a few more minutes._

_A sharp pain pierced through his body. Startled, he immediately woke up._

_He could hear the sounds of clicks. The sound of people giggling._

_"Fuck you." Someone said. The sound of the laughs echoed around him._

_He couldn't imagine what was going on. His head hurt. He blinked rapidly to see what was going on._

_Then he felt a cold liquid dripping on his body. He looked up to see._

_Someone had just emptied a bottle on him. He looked around. He was sitting in the middle of the football field. His clothes were dirty, stained in blood. He tried to brush off the mud from his hands._

_A small crowd had gathered around him. A group of students, his classmates. They were all watching him being humiliated. He lowered his face as he took in all of it._ _He felt a sudden pain in his hand. He was hit again. A rotten tomato dripped from his sleeves. They were all shouting curses at him. Everyone._

_What did he do to deserve this? Why did he have to suffer this pain?_

_Everyone watched him._

_Wait. Was he there too?_

_The boy looked up to scan the crowd of people. His heart was racing._

_No. No. He shouldn't be there. He wouldn't do that to him. Right?_

_He looked through each of them. Anxiety building in his heart._

_But just then his eyes fell on him. The boy stood at the end of the crowd. He was easily recognisable with that sharp jawline of his._

_Their eyes met._

_He was being hit by more and more rotten tomatoes, but he couldn't move his eyes from him._

_He was there too, watching him._

Seungkwan woke up panting heavily. His forehead dripped in sweat. He quickly looked around himself. What met his eyes was just his old, messy room. He sat on his bed, pulling the blanket close to him tightly. _It was a dream. Just a dream_.

He sat there for a moment thinking about the nightmare he just had.

Well, a veritable nightmare.

His vacation was already over. Seungkwan had taken a break from a school feigning illness. He somehow had convinced his mother back then. But now, a week was over. He had to go back to that hell of a place. _But he didn't want to._

Not for any other reason. He had been subjected to bullying from a very young age. This treatment was nothing new to him. For his chubby cheeks and plump figure, he was always victimised. To be honest, he was quite used to it by now. Back in middle school, he had changed his school thrice for being subjected to extreme harassment. But now, in high school, he just didn't bother with it anymore.

 _Two more years. He had to withstand this just for two more years. Then he would be free._ Well, that's what he thought.

Until he saw him.

Vernon

They had entered high-school together, but initially, their paths didn't cross each other. Although studying in the same grade, he was in a different section. But this year they were pooled in the same class. That was also not a problem. Seungkwan could have just ignored him like he ignored the others. But he couldn't. He just couldn't.

Because Vernon was always there. He was overly sweet, overly smiling. Seungkwan couldn't understand why. All the others ignored him in the class. But he was there, sitting beside him. In the beginning, they didn't talk much. It was all about exchanging notes, and Seungkwan didn't bother with him at all. He always maintained a distance from him. But slowly, as time passed by, the two of them started having small conversations. It started by doing a project together. Vernon would randomly chat about anything. The food he found delicious or the music he was currently into. He would offer his headphones and they listened to songs together. Slowly, for the first time, he felt like a normal schoolboy.

Until the day, he was bullied again.

Seungkwan checked his phone. There were texts and missed calls from Vernon. Not once had he answered them. He checked through the messages.

_'You okay?'_

_'I took your notes.'_

_'You coming back?'_

_'I took your notes again today.'_

_'Let me know if you need anything.'_

_'You okay?'_

Yeah, that's how Vernon texted him. He couldn't help but sigh. He didn't know what to answer. Somehow, he didn't want him to see him like this.

"Seungkwan, are you ready yet? It's time for school." His mother called out from the kitchen. He kept his phone aside and let out a sigh. Reluctantly, he got up and packed his bags. 

"Are you feeling better? You have missed school for an entire week now. There must be a lot to catch up." His mother continued as she packed him his lunch.

Seungkwan sat at the table, quietly gulping down the breakfast.

"Try getting along with people. Be sweet and polite. Don't get angry and shout at people. I am sure they will accept you." His mother tried to put up a confident smile for her son. She knew very well what type of harassment her son faced. She offered him to change his school again, but this time Seungkwan had denied. She felt helpless. So, all she could do was cheer her boy up. As a mother, to see her son suffering like this, it broke her.

"Do I have to go?" Seungkwan asked in a low voice.

"How long can you escape reality?" She chided. "Only by achieving your goal, you can stand up and fight."

* * *

Seokmin had just brushed his teeth. He was going all over the house looking for his tie.

"Jeonghan-hyung, Jeonghan-hyung? Have you seen my tie?" He barged into his elder brother's room. Jeonghan had just finished dressing up. He put on his glasses instead of the contacts. A new thing he did sometimes for Shua.

"How would I know?" He replied. Seokmin was running again, looking for his tie. It was his first day back to school. It has been a week since they moved to Joshua's place. His mother instructed him to rest for a few days before going back to school. But the past week was so dull for him. All he could do was hang out alone. His brother and Joshua were at school and his mother was at work. Being a doctor, she was on call on most nights.

Seokmin had just picked up the tune of a new song. He used to sit with Shua's guitar and pluck the chords. That's what he did the entire week. And now finally he could return to school. But he just couldn't find his tie.

"Shua-hyung? Where is my tie?" Joshua was startled as he heard Seokmin. It was as if he was accused of being a tie-thief. He put the plates down on the table. His mother was on call last night, so she hadn't returned yet. He took the initiative to prepare their breakfast.

"Stop being annoying, Seokmin. Go, check your room." Jeonghan retorted as he placed his bag on the couch and went to Shua's side. This was being a bigger issue now. Seokmin was nervous now. _How could he go to school without a tie?_ He went back to check in his room again.

Shua stood there grinning as he placed the sandwiches on the plates.

"What are you laughing for?" Jeonghan asked as he took out a bottle from the fridge.

"The house has never been this lively," Shua replied. Jeonghan took a sip of the cold water, but the bottle was immediately snatched away. "You'll catch a cold. Let the temperature come down."

Jeonghan watched as Shua continued his work. He had neatly set the table with the plates and bowls with food. He had prepared the lunch boxes for the three of them. It's something that he learned since his childhood. His parents were both working, so most of the time he had to warm his food. As he grew older, his mother taught him to make some simple dishes. Joshua had picked up interest, and he learned some more. So, by now he could do this with ease. Jeonghan's eyes followed him everywhere. He was watching him curiously. Slowly he walked and stood right behind him.

Shua placed the lunch box in his bag. He turned around, and he suddenly faced Jeonghan.

"What are you doing?" Shua asked. Jeonghan had a smirk on his face.

He leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek. Shua blushed a little as he smiled. He was just about to reciprocate the action.

"This is getting out of my hands." A loud voice startled them. Seokmin rushed to the room and placed his bag on the couch. No tie.

The two of them had already separated and seeing Jeonghan's face, well, he was mad.

"Shua-hyung-" 

"Just take a tie from my wardrobe. There is a spare." Shua interrupted him as he said. Seokmin's face immediately lit up as he hopped to Shua's room.

Shua poured a glass of water and sat beside Jeonghan.

"That kid is getting more and more annoying these days," Jeonghan muttered as he munched on his sandwich.

"He is sweet," Shua replied, taking a bite from his bread. "More like you, I guess."

"I am nothing like him." Jeonghan snapped back. Shua grinned.

"Says the guy who looked for his socks for an hour. You both should just get more organised." Shua said.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. Shua looked at him with a smile. 

Seokmin had finally found the tie. He sat at the table as he adjusted it.

"Thank you. Shua-hyung." His smile was precious. Seokmin gobbled down the breakfast.

"Eat slowly, you'll choke," Jeonghan instructed.

"I just want to go to school. I was too bored for the last few days." Seokmin replied.

"Do you have your keys with you? Mom should be home by then. But still." Shua asked.

"Yeah, I do."

The three of them finished their breakfast and washed their plates.

"Seokmin?" Jeonghan called him. 

"I'll be fine, Jeonghan-hyung. Don't worry." Seokmin reassured him before letting him continue.

"I was about to say, come home on time." Jeonghan teased back. Seokmin's face fell. He was expecting a worried hyung who would ask him to take care. To his disappointment, Jeonghan didn't live up to that expectation.

Shua stood beside the two of them and grinned.

_Only he knew how worried Jeonghan was._

* * *

**_Vernon_ **

_'I thought you would be in class today. When are you coming back?'_

He hit send. There was no answer.

_It's been a week. Seungkwan should've come back by now. Why didn't he come?_

Vernon sat in the library as he stared at the message that he just sent. He had been waiting for an entire week. Patiently. He had not received a single reply. How long does he need to wait?

He kept his phone aside and concentrated on the book in front of him. He would take notes for him again today. _What happened? Why isn't he coming back to school? Was he too sick to get up?_ A worried expression filled his face. _Was that the reason?_ The teacher mentioned that Seungkwan was ill. That he would come back soon. He fidgeted with the pen in his fingers. _What was it? Should he visit him? But would that be appropriate?_

Vernon kept the pen aside and checked his phone again. Still no reply. _No. Something was wrong_. It wasn't that they had fought. _So why wasn't he replying?_ He kept aside all his thoughts and pressed the call button.

The phone rang.

No one picked up.

"You should just go visit your friend if you are so tensed." A voice said from behind. Vernon turned around to see a brown-haired boy approach him. "You've been nervous for a long time." He smiled as he continued. "Is this seat taken?"

"No," Vernon replied. The boy sat down beside him. Vernon went back to looking at his phone. He pressed the call button again.

It rang. Still no answer.

His anxiety grew more.

"Wow. Did you write this?" The brown-haired boy asked as he flipped through the pages of a notebook he picked up. The notebook that had the lyrics that Vernon wrote.

Vernon looked at him.

"Oh, sorry. I was just curious." The boy answered as he kept the notebook back. Silently. A pang of guilt appeared on his face.

"It's okay. It's just something I do when I'm free." Vernon replied.

"You're good at this." The boy smiled. "I'm Joshua by the way." He stretched out his hand.

"Vernon." He replied, shaking his hand. "Are you new here?" The boy didn't look like he belonged from there. In that school, no one cared about what the other was up to. But this boy was strangely curious about him.

"Yeah, I recently moved here from America." Joshua continued. An understanding dawned on Vernon. _So that's why._

"I've lived there for a few years. We shifted here when I was in middle school." Vernon explained. 

"Oh, that's nice." Shua smiled. He peeped at the notebook again. "I had friends back there who used to write songs. But I think your works are better."

"It's more of a rap. I just grab onto a random topic and write about it. I know little about it, to be honest." Vernon scratched his hair, a little shy from the compliment.

Joshua smiled. He could easily figure out the anxiety that Vernon was hiding. When he came to the library he spotted this young, fair boy fidgeting. The latter was so nervous. He glimpsed at his phone from time to time. He was surely waiting for someone's text. Joshua just couldn't help but talk to him a little. "Let's catch up sometime. You should go see your friend."

Vernon glanced at his phone again. Still no answer. _Yeah, he had to go see him now. He couldn't wait anymore._

"Yeah. Will talk again." Vernon replied with a smile as he packed his books. He took his phone and walked out of the library.

Jeonghan had just entered while Vernon walked past him. Shua waved as the former took his seat beside him.

"He's a year younger to me," Shua suddenly explained. Jeonghan threw him a confused look.

"I didn’t say anything." He replied shrugging him off. 

Shua giggled. _Of course he wouldn't say anything._ He didn't need to. His face was too expressive.

Jeonghan let out a small smile as he went back to his work.

* * *

"You had the nerve to come back, huh?"

Seungkwan stood there silently. His head bowed in courtesy. Bruises marked his face, while a blood drop trickled down his lips. He was pinned to the wall, caged by three boys who were just furious.

One of them lay a punch on his face. Again.

"We told you not to return, right?" Another one kicked his foot. His body was aching all over from the punches he had received. But he stood there still. Without making a sound.

 _This is what happens. All the time_. This is the reason he didn't want to come back. As soon as he reached school, he was knocked over. When we woke up, he was in a pool of water in the men's bathroom. The three of them had ganged up on him, waiting to strike him.

"Why can't I return?" Seungkwan's breathed.

"What? What did you say?" One of them pulled his hair to see his face.

"I said, why can't I return?" Seungkwan shouted. "What did I do to any of you? Why do you have to bully me in this way? Why?" His voice echoed.

A sharp blow landed on his stomach. He immediately fell on the ground. _It hurt. It hurt terribly_. Another set of kicks followed this. Blood piled up in his mouth as he coughed out again.

"Why you say? Look at yourself. You are nothing but a pathetic fool." The three boys took turns to hit him. Seungkwan curled, taking in the hits.

Why does it have to be him? Why must he go through these tortures? Was it because he wasn't strong enough? Or was it because he didn't have any courage to face them? _Maybe I deserve it. For not standing up for myself. For looking down on me._ How many times has it been since he dreaded himself? That he couldn't even look at his reflection. He loathed himself that much. So, does he have any right to protest now? _He doesn't._

"You fucking bastard." The hits lay one after another. Seungkwan groaned in pain. His head was heavy, his eyes blurry. He couldn't process things anymore.

Suddenly, a mug hit a boy's head. They were astounded. _Who dared hit one of them?_ Seungkwan was too weak to see what was going on. He didn't realize when a stranger had walked in and hit the gang.

"Scram all of you before I call the police." The stranger said in a hoarse voice.

"Who the fuck are you?" One of them approached the stranger. The stranger narrowed his eyes as he threw the bag he had on his back.

The boys were just getting ready to start the fight, but instantly the school bell rang. It was lunch hours. The students would crawl in anytime. They couldn't risk exposing themselves. They looked at each other. One of them nodded. The three of them walked out after throwing a glare at the stranger.

Seungkwan was already on the verge of losing consciousness. The stranger gathered some water in his palm as he sprinkled it on him. As the cool water hit his face, Seungkwan flinched. The pain was just too sharp. He coughed loudly as he tried to sit up.

"Let's take you to the infirmary." The stranger took out a jacket from his bag as he placed it over Seungkwan. "Cover yourself with the hoodie."

He helped him up. The boy took his bag and walked Seungkwan out. The students were already gathering in the hallways. Although they gave them a look, most of them just ignored.

_It's not something new in this school._

He opened the door and walked him to a nearby bed. Seungkwan's foot was wobbly, but he sat down as he took off the jacket.

"Another one?" The nurse exclaimed as she threw a disgusting look at Seungkwan. "Why do you boys get into fights? Are the rules still not clear? They will surely expel you this time." She rebuked as she treated his wounds unwillingly.

Seungkwan refrained from justifying himself. _It was of no use_. The boy on the other hand scowled.

"Maybe you should look at the ones who started the fight? There's only one wounded, doesn't that tell you something?" The stranger retorted back. He leaned to a wall as he crossed his arms, examining the entire situation. For the first time, Seungkwan saw the boy who helped him. He was young, maybe a year elder to him. Although his face was soft, his eyes had a glare of ferocity. 

"And who are you exactly?" The nurse glared at him, but the stranger ignored. She was deeply offended as she continued muttering.

"Stay here and take a rest." She instructed Seungkwan as she finished dressing up the wounds.

The boy gently helped him lie down. "Take care of yourself." The boy smiled as he said in a low voice.

"Thank You," Seungkwan whispered. The boy took his bag and was about to walk out the door.

"Hyung?" Seungkwan called him. He turned to look at him. "How should I find you? I need to return this jacket."

The boy had a soft smile as he ran his fingers through his hair. " You can find me in the dance room. My name is Kwon Soonyoung."

* * *

The sky had turned into a brilliant orange as the sun set on the horizon. The school was nearly empty except for the students who practiced their respective sport. Vernon put on his headphones as he walked back to the school building.

Seungkwan was not at home. He took off for school today. That's what his mother told him. Vernon had gone to visit him, but to his dismay, he wasn't there. He was shocked to hear this. _Where did he go then?_ _He was supposed to attend classes today, then why wasn't he there?_ Vernon couldn't help but feel a little anxious. Did something happen to him? He continued to call him, but there was still no answer.

 _Just what is going on?_ Vernon had no idea that the Seungkwan he was looking for was lying down in the infirmary. Before he could step into class, he was dragged to a corner and bullied. It's not that he didn't know about the rumours. It's just that Vernon didn’t think they would bully one of his friends. Seungkwan was always so quiet in class. He hardly spoke to anyone and mostly kept to himself. Vernon just took him as a shy, introvert boy who needed someone to talk to.

The day he first met Seungkwan, the latter was sitting at the corner most table in the whole classroom. While others were chatting away leisurely, he was there with his headphones humming different tunes. Something that Vernon could relate to. When he looked at him, he only noticed the cute boy who liked music. He had instantly made his mind to sit beside him. Seungkwan had ignored him mostly, but he was so excited to be his friend. When he wasn't looking, Vernon would steal a few glances. Seungkwan used to stare outside the window, be in his world, something that fascinated Vernon. He was curious about his thoughts and hence kept on gazing at Seungkwan.

He wanted to see him again. Somewhere in his heart, there was an emptiness. _Where is he?_ The music that played in headphones were not heard at all. Vernon was in his world of thoughts. He was getting anxious by the minute. _Did something happen to him?_ His heart tightened at the thought _. No, no. Don't overthink. He'll be fine. I have to find him first._

He kept his earphones aside and quickened his pace as he jogged towards the building. The initial noises of the classrooms were no longer heard. There was dead silence. He walked through the corridors, peeping into the classrooms. _He was not there_. The calm expression on his face had faded away. His heart pounded in his chest. He couldn't help but be nervous. He ran through every class. He tried calling him on his phone. No answer.

 _Where is he?_ He was panting for breath as he climbed the stairs to check the terrace. It was still empty. He was nowhere to be found. Vernon kneeled as he buried his face in his hands. A surge of emotions filled him up. By now, he was so anxious that he couldn't look at his phone anymore. He was disappointed in himself. He was in utter despair. _How could he let this happen? He should have looked for him sooner. Why didn't he once visit him? Why didn't he know what his friend was going through?_ _Why?_

He let out a heavy breath. _No, he had to find him. No matter what._ He stood up and walked through the remaining corridors. As he passed by the infirmary, the nurse was already locking the door.

Vernon was so anxious by now, he couldn't help but ask, "Did someone come here today?"

"Who are you looking for?" The nurse asked him, an expression full of disdain.

"A boy around sixteen years old. His name is Boo Seungkwan." Vernon was about to give his class details when the nurse spoke up.

"Oh yes, that boy. He just left a few mins ago."

He clenched his fists. _He was in the infirmary. The infirmary. He was so close to him. Still, he didn't know._

"Why was he here?" Vernon asked. The slight tremble in his voice was crystal clear.

"You didn't know? He got into a fight, I think? He had bruises all over his body. He stayed here the entire day to take rest." The nurse kept the keys in her bag and looked up.

Vernon was gone.

He didn't need to listen anymore. He ran through the corridors, calling out his name. "Seungkwan?" ' _He got into a fight?' Was he supposed to believe that?_ Seungkwan was not the boy who got into fights. All those rumours were true then. He was indeed bullied. 

He walked through a secluded part of the building, lost in thoughts. _The reason he couldn't attend was that he was being bullied._ His fists clenched, thinking about how Seungkwan was tortured. All those months they sat together, not once did he say anything about this. _Why didn't he tell him? How could he not know?_ As he walked deeper into the corridor, he heard a voice. Vernon stopped in his tracks.

He stood there still as he listened to that voice. The voice was filled with pain but was still so melodious. The song complimented the mellow tone of the voice. Vernon leaned against the wall. There were hints of tears in his eyes, but not a drop fell. As the song continued, he could feel a heaviness in his heart. It ached.

_He was hurt. All the time he was hurt._

He dawdled into the room from where the voice came. Seungkwan stood near the window, looking outside as he continued to sing. Vernon just gazed at that beautiful scene. The light rays of the setting sun that fell on Seungkwan's face. His bruises were still distinctly noticeable. He could see his expression that changed with every lyric of that song. The high tone notes hit perfectly. Vernon took a step forward. There were so many emotions that piled up in him. He didn't know which one to confront first. 

Somewhere this scene had mesmerized him. This very moment was deeply engraved in his heart. His eyes never once left Seungkwan. He followed his every move, every expression. The slight hand gestures that Seungkwan did, he noticed it all. He just wanted to take it all in.

As Seungkwan finished the song, he turned back around. He was astonished to see Vernon there, watching him. Unknowingly, he took a step back. "Vernon?" He said in a low tone.

 _Why was he here? When did he come?_ He immediately turned back around. _He shouldn't see me like this._ There were still bruises on his face. _What would he think?_ "I'm sorry I couldn't pick up your calls."

There was a loud thud _._

Seungkwan immediately turned back. Vernon closed the door behind him and walked straight forward. Seungkwan was so taken aback, he couldn't help but fall back a little. But Vernon immediately caught him.

Seungkwan noticed the anxious look on his face. His heart pounded in his chest. He opened his mouth to say something.

Vernon didn't wait. He immediately pulled him close. His arms gripping him in his embrace. Seungkwan's face flushed a little. His around him were so tight that he couldn't breakaway. Vernon buried his face in his neck as he took deep breaths. He was relieved to see him. All the anxiety had turned into relief.

_He was fine. He was right there in his arms._

Seungkwan could not process the situation. _Vernon was here with him. He came looking for him_. A smile spread across his face. He held on to his shirt as Seungkwan embraced him back. He closed his eyes to feel the warmth of his arms around him. _It felt good_. 

The golden rays lit up the beautiful silhouette of the two boys. Embraced in each other's arms.

This is where they belonged.

****

The sun had already set, as the sky took a darker shade of red. The two of them walked along a pavement, side by side. Silently. No one spoke a word. Vernon would steal a few glances of Seungkwan. While the latter was still flushed from before. The scene was too intimate in his head. They had just held each other, tightly, in a secluded room. His cheeks reddened again. Vernon giggled, seeing the sudden change of expression on his face.

"Why are you laughing?" Seungkwan asked as he composed himself immediately. But a small frown remained on his face.

"No. Nothing. Just because." Vernon happily replied.

His cheeks were getting redder by the minute. He lightly slapped his cheeks for it to come to its proper colour. _Seungkwan was just too adorable._

Vernon continued watching. Those brief gestures that Seungkwan made, his heart fluttered a little.

"How did you find me?" Seungkwan asked, deflecting the situation. He couldn't handle that tease anymore.

"Your mother told me."

Seungkwan stopped in his tracks. He turned around to look at him with wide eyes. "You met my mother?" It shocked him. _Just when did he go to his place?_

"Yeah." He replied.

No explanation. Seungkwan scowled. "'Yeah?' That's it?"

"I called you. You wouldn't pick up." Vernon replied. Seungkwan felt a little guilty. He was worried about him. He looked at him. Although Vernon had a casual appearance, he could see the slight concern in his eyes. _This boy ran all the way to look for him._ His heart softened. He didn't know how to reciprocate this gesture. No one had done this before. All his life, he never had a friend who would call him or text him, let alone look for him. He smiled a little.

"I'm sorry. My phone. I don't know where it is." Seungkwan looked away. "I think they took it." He continued as he sighed.

Vernon's expression changed instantly. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

The sky had already darkened as Seungkwan stopped in his tracks. His head was down as the thoughts filled up his head.

"What would I tell you? That I was bullied every day. It started since I was in elementary school. I was the person who got pushed around every time. I was that ugly, I guess. No one could tolerate me." His voice cracked. "How could I tell you? You were the only who would look at me. Talk to me. I was scared." He paused.

Vernon stepped a little closer as he put his arms around him.

"It scared me, you would hate me too. That you would… leave… me." Seungkwan's voice cracked.

Vernon looked at him. The tears that had piled up in the corners of his eyes. He could see all of that. "Others do not define who you are. You are your own person." Vernon closed the gap and pulled him to a hug.

Seungkwan softened. His words echoed in his ears. _'You are your own person'_. Maybe it was time to stop hating himself. There was someone who embraced him the way he was. Vernon's arms were steady on his shoulders.

"What are you doing? People might see." Seungkwan said blushing a little.

"I don't care," Vernon replied as he kept him close.

Seungkwan didn't resist anymore. He could understand the silent messages that Vernon passed to him. _He was taking care of him, protecting him. He would be there for him_. There was a hint of happiness in his small smile. It was something that he wanted but was hesitant to express. Right at this moment, he was just happy _. He was beside him. The person whom he wanted was right next to him._

"Let's go home," Seungkwan said as he took his hands and started walking. There was a shimmer of joy on his face. _This is where he wanted to be. More than anything._

He nodded as they resumed their walk. "Let me stay over at your place," Vernon said.

"Nope."

"C'mon"

"Not at all," Seungkwan replied chuckling. _Everything was fine as long as he was with him._

The conversation trailed on as the two of them walked hand in hand. Together.

* * *

"I'm so glad that you invited so many of your friends." Shua's mother said excitedly as she packed her belongings. Her son was smiling, bringing friends home, even secretly dating. She was just too happy.

For her son, not so much.

 _Friends? More like enemies_.

Joshua frowned a little. The four of them were assigned to a project. Hence, Mingyu and Wonwoo had come over to finish the project. But somehow, even Seungcheol tagged along. Joshua had graciously accepted his presence considering Jeonghan's friendship with him. But he was just getting on his nerves. _Why did he have to glare at him? It was annoying. It was getting even more hard to maintain a calm face._

"Okay. So, I'll be off now. Lock the door properly after they go home." Shua's mother instructed as she prepared to go to the hospital. "Take care of them, okay?" She smiled as she hugged her son. "Take care of yourself too."

"Mom, we'll be fine. You do this every day." Shua exclaimed, patting her arms.

"I can't help it. I have to look after my three handsome sons." She giggled as she walked out the door.

Joshua proceeded to clean the dishes.

"Your mother is on call tonight?" Seungcheol asked as he came over to the dining table. Joshua stiffened a little but still maintained his calm.

"Yes." He replied, collecting the dishes from the table. Seungcheol looked at him curiously as the latter did his work. Somehow, even though he wanted to resent him, he couldn't. Joshua had such a warm and gentle appearance. Seungcheol could easily understand why Jeonghan liked him. They complimented each other so well. There was always a smile on Jeonghan's face when Shua was there. He genuinely cherished him. Seungcheol could see all of that.

His heart tightened a little. _He cherished him too_.

He picked up the dishes and helped him. Shua was a little surprised seeing Seungcheol carrying the glasses. But he smiled. Although he scowled at his attitude, somewhere he knew that Seungcheol was kind. His gestures proved that from time to time. His worries for Jeonghan were genuine, and he could never deny that.

"Jeonghan and I-" Seungcheol continued, "We've been friends since middle school. When I first came here, I was alone. My parents were back at home. He became my only friend." He wiped the glass. "We were in the same class. We played together, did our homework together. We fought with each other and then made up again." He kept the glass aside and looked at Shua. "He is the person I value the most after my parents. The person I trust and someone I can lean on. Cause he was always there for me."

Shua listened silently. This was the story that Jeonghan always told him. They were best friends. They trusted each other more than anyone else. When he heard it the first time, he couldn't help feel a little jealous. _He wanted to be that person._ The person he could trust the most. But somewhere, he understood why their friendship was special. It was something that he would never interfere with. Seungcheol just had another place in his heart. Shua could never replace that.

Shua looked up as he kept the dishes aside on the rack. "Why didn't you ever confess?" Seungcheol's eyes widened. "Your feelings for him. It's obvious." Shua continued.

 _So he figured it out._ Seungcheol knew why he could never confess.

"Jeonghan needed a friend more. A friend whom he could share all his feelings with, without thinking twice. He needs someone to come back to when he fights with you. When that happens, I'll be there listening to him." Seungcheol replied, letting out a small sigh. _He meant everything to him. He would always be there for him_. But Jeonghan had a distinct person in his heart. The person who made him smile and laugh. Who made him feel loved. More than understanding, he needed a person who would make him feel alive. Shua did that.

"I agree," Shua replied. The smile he had was so genuine that Seungcheol was touched. _How could he accept everything? Did he really love him that much?_ "I can promise to make him happy, but I cannot guarantee it. There will be times when we will fight. Sometimes, he may not even want to see me. So, I am glad that his best friend will be there with him."

The last bit of resentment that Seungcheol had for him had disappeared. Somewhere, he started liking this boy. For his genuine words, for his gentle nature and especially his care of Jeonghan.

"But Seungcheol," Shua stood in front him. Seungcheol looked at him. "I would never let him go."

For a moment there was a slight shock in his eyes. Shua's face was full of determination. Seungcheol hadn't expected these words. But the shock disappeared gradually as he placed his hands on his shoulder.

"I'm glad that he found you," Seungcheol replied.

The two of them continued to finish the dishes as they slowly started having a normal conversation. The tension in the air was still there, but it had decreased. Both had accepted each other's presence. Not only because of Jeonghan but also their mutual respect for their feelings.

"When did you two become friends?" A voice interrupted their conversation. The two of them turned back. An adorable Jeonghan was standing there, having the last bit of popcorn from the bowl. Both of them smiled looking at him. _This was the person they both wanted to care for._ They wanted to protect him. Because although he said nothing, his smile hid his painful past.

****

"What were you both talking about?" Jeonghan asked as he finished his math problems.

The other three had already gone home long back. Shua was arranging his bookcase. Somehow, he didn't feel the necessity to answer the question. Jeonghan frowned. He kept his pen aside and walked to Shua. "Tell me."

"Nothing much," Shua replied casually as he put the books in order. His frown grew more.

"Were you talking about me?" Jeonghan asked as he pulled Shua's arms. Shua was surprised to see the scowling Jeonghan. _He was nagging him._ Shua let out a small laugh. Although he wanted to be mad, Jeonghan was just not capable of that. His nature was just so caring. All the anger just vanishes there itself.

"Don't think much Jeonghan," Shua replied, assuring him. Jeonghan was nervous about the entire situation. He knew that both Shua and Seungcheol were not on acceptable terms. Somehow, he just wanted them to get along. When he saw them in the kitchen, he was surprised to see them talking to each other. Politely. He was just curious, just what had triggered it. _Did they talk about him? Did Seungcheol say something to Shua?_ His mind revolved around so many thoughts.

Shua slid his fingers on his cheek. Jeonghan looked at him. The concern in his eyes was distinctive. Shua kissed his forehead. _He was worried about them_.

"Fine. I'll just go ask Seungcheol." Jeonghan said as he went to grab his phone. Shua pulled him back immediately. He pressed him to the wall.

"Don't." Shua's eyes were fixated on him as he studied every inch of his features. His arms clasped him as he continued staring at his eyes. Shua couldn't help but feel a little jealous. Somewhere he wanted Jeonghan to be with him.

A sudden tension had built up in between them. Their hearts raced, breathing escalated. Their gaze firmly on each other. Shua inched a little closer as Jeonghan placed a hand on his cheek. He leaned forward to kiss him. Their lips instantly melted as they embraced each other. Shua pressed his body against him as he deepened the kiss. His hands clutched his waist as he pinned him to the wall. Their hearts racing. Jeonghan's fingers trailed his hair as he kissed back.

A warmth had filled both of them. The desire to touch burned in them as they continued to kiss each other. His hands trailed his body before reaching his neck. Shua pulled back for a second as he panted for breath. Jeonghan's eyes had a deep yearning that became irresistible. Sliding his fingers through his neck, Shua kissed each part delicately. Every touch of his burned on his skin. Jeonghan buried his face in his neck, feeling every touch.

Jeonghan pulled back. He stared at Shua as he pushed him to lean on a desk. There was a hint of a smile on his face as he kissed him again. Much deeper, as they closed their eyes to feel the sensation of each other.

"Shua-hyung?" Seokmin entered. "Oh… Sorry." He immediately rushed back out. He had turned bright red, seeing the scene that had played in front of him. Jeonghan had buried his face in Shua's neck in embarrassment. The latter looked down as he giggled, holding Jeonghan in his arms. "You should've locked the door," Seokmin shouted from outside, still trying to process what he had just seen.

Both of them giggled. A bring red glow appeared on their cheeks.

"Your brother doesn't have the habit of knocking," Shua said as he gently stroked Jeonghan's hair. He still leaned in his arms as Shua pressed a kiss on his head. Jeonghan had such a beautiful smile that Shua couldn't resist. He leaned forward to place a small kiss on his lips.

"So, you can silence me, huh? You won't be able to escape next time." Jeonghan said as he pulled back, a smirk on his face

_Next time he wouldn't let him go._

* * *

"I have to give this back," Seungkwan said as he tried to pull himself apart. Vernon had been clutching his hands since the class ended. Seungkwan tried to slap away his hand. It was of no use. He tightly held his hand as he continued to read his notes. "Vernon, this doesn't belong to me. You are annoying me now." He continued as a scowl appeared on his face.

"Let me go with you," Vernon said. Not that he wanted to irritate him. But after yesterday's incident, there was a slight fear in his heart. He didn't want him to go anywhere alone. He was scared that the boys may still bully Seungkwan. He just couldn't let that happen.

"Why? Just for a few minutes. I'll be back soon." Seungkwan requested him with pleading eyes. He could understand the reason behind his behaviour. But he wasn't a child. _What would happen in a few minutes?_ He would return after giving back the jacket.

"Nope." Vernon strictly denied.

"Vernon." Seungkwan angrily retorted. Vernon clenched his hand as he looked at him. A worried expression appeared on his face.

"You know why I am doing this." Seungkwan softened a little _. He knew he was worried. Scared that something might happen to him and he wouldn't be there_. Somewhere Vernon blamed himself. Seungkwan was so close to him. He was in the school itself and still he didn't know. He was being punched while Vernon had just waited for him to pick up his call. _How could he not blame himself? He couldn't do anything to save him._

"I know. But trust me." Seungkwan placed his hand over his. "Nothing will happen to me." He smiled to reassure him. "Besides you still need to complete your homework."

Vernon looked at him intently. There was still some anxiety in him. But he agreed. "Ten minutes. You need to be back by then. Or I am coming after you."

Seungkwan gave him a broad smile.

He left to find the dance room. He reached there to find the room still locked. He looked around to find someone to ask about the boy. As he searched, he heard a soft humming of a song. He peeped into the adjacent music room.

A dark-haired boy sat on the stool, a guitar in his hands. He plucked the strings, but it sounded out of tune. But the boy continued to sing. The voice was so soft, it instantly drew Seungkwan. The latter entered the room and leaned against the piano.

The boy continued to sing as he perfectly hit the high-notes. Seungkwan smiled as he joined into the familiar song. The boy looked up as he was startled, but Seungkwan continued to sing. The boy smiled as he sang the seconds. Both their voices had a sweet melody, beautiful to hear.

Both of them acknowledged that.

"You have such a wonderful voice." The boy exclaimed, beaming. He kept the guitar aside.

"I wouldn't say the same for your guitar skills." Seungkwan laughed a little as he approached him.

"Ahh. That. I'm just learning now. I'm not that good." The boy scratched his head. "I'm Seokmin."

"Seungkwan." Both of them introduced themselves.

"How come we never came across each other, although we're just a section apart?" Seungkwan exclaimed. He had just found out they were in the same grade. Seokmin didn't know what to say.

"We just never met, I guess," Seokmin said.

Seungkwan was smiling. He never had friends in school, except for Vernon. He was overjoyed to find someone who shared the same interest in singing as he did. Although Vernon had a similar interest in music but he didn't sing much. But Seokmin here was not only easygoing but also had exceptional vocal skills. Seungkwan was happy.

"Did you undergo vocal training?" Seungkwan asked.

"I used to. But I quit a few days back." Seokmin said. His smile dropped a little.

After they moved to Shua's place, Seokmin hadn't gone for his vocal lessons. He just couldn't ask Jeonghan. His elder brother was already working hard for him. He couldn't burden him anymore. And to ask Shua would be out of the question. So, he quit his lessons a few days back. But he continued to practice on his own.

Seeing the discomfort on his face, Seungkwan didn't question any further.

"Would you like to practice with me? I have little vocal training. But I like to sing." Seungkwan asked, a small hesitation in his voice.

The sudden invitation surprised Seokmin. He never really had anyone he could practice his vocals with. Although his brother had a pleasant voice, he hardly sang. After seeing Shua's guitar, he was excited to learn from him. So, mostly he practiced his guitar skills with Shua. They wouldn't sing much and honestly, he hadn't heard Shua sing yet. He was very excited but Shua denied to sing. After that, even Jeonghan told him not to push him about it.

So, when Seungkwan asked him, he just had a mixture of feelings. But mostly he was delighted to find someone who understood his interest in music.

"Seungkwan?" A voice blocked their conversation. Seungkwan looked back to find Vernon standing at the door. A realization dawned on him. He had completely forgotten about the ten minutes. A look of guilt spread across his face as he apologized.

"Vernon, I'm sorry. I completely forgot." Vernon walked towards him as he looked at him. He was so anxious when Seungkwan didn't return. All sorts of thoughts occupied his head. So, he immediately rushed to find him. When he found the dance room locked, he started getting worried. He thought he had lost him again. He continued searching the adjacent rooms until he found the music room. He could hear voices from inside. So he just entered.

"Are you okay?" Vernon asked in a soft voice. He placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah. Absolutely." Seungkwan was unexpectedly excited. _But he was fine_. Vernon smiled as he let out a small breath of relief. He turned to look at the dark-haired boy.

Seokmin was just confused. He silently observed. The boy Vernon had a powerful presence. Somehow, he was very protective of Seungkwan. Seokmin felt a little awkward like he was intruding on something.

"Seokmin here has a beautiful voice. I was thinking of practice with him." Seungkwan continued. "Are you okay with it?" Seungkwan turned to Seokmin as he asked him.

"Yeah, I was about to say yes." Seokmin smiled as he nodded his head. Seungkwan continued conversing with him.

Vernon watched him. He didn't pay attention to any of the conversations they had. _He was fine. He was smiling. That's what mattered._ So Vernon didn't say much. Seungkwan had just made another friend in school. This was what he needed. Music was something that Seungkwan cherished. If he had found someone to share it with, he wouldn't interfere.

"Let's meet up. I'll call you, okay?" Seungkwan said. He was such an adorable kid. Happy and excited to have made a new friend. To many, this was very natural. But for him, making a friend was something new. He wanted to treasure this.

"Okay." Seokmin beamed with joy. He had found his vocal partner.

"Oh right. Do you know someone named Kwon Soonyoung?" Seungkwan asked him. "I needed to return his jacket."

Seokmin nodded his head in denial.

"Oh. Fine. I'll give it to him tomorrow then."

* * *

"Joshua?"

It was lunch break. Joshua had found a spot under a shady tree to wait for Jeonghan. The latter had gone to collect books. He was just too studious. _He could have gone after lunch._ Joshua was frowning the whole time. 

A voice suddenly interrupted his thoughts _._ A girl stood in front of him, her fingers fidgeting with each other. Joshua immediately understood the situation. He politely got up and smiled. "Yes?"

"Would you-" The girl hesitated before continuing. "Would you go out with me?"

Yeah. He was expecting just that. This wasn't the first time. Joshua let out a small sigh. Somehow, the girl noticed that and immediately looked up. She was about to cry.

Joshua mentally cursed himself. _He shouldn't have sighed_. Staying with Jeonghan was making him lose his calm nature. Regret instantly filled his face.

"I am sorry." He paused before he continued. "I am already in a relationship."

The girl was astounded. She hadn't expected a yes, but knowing that he was already involved. She was just shocked. "Who is she? Is she from our school? Or our grade?" She shot one question after another.

Joshua was so taken aback at the questions. _Just why should he have to answer those questions_ _to her?_ He wanted to frown but he kept a regretful expression. He apologized again. The girl was expecting a coherent answer. But seeing that Joshua didn't budge, she left.

"How many was it now?" Vernon was just passing by when he played witness to the complete scene. _Joshua was just too polite_. The girl had such a conceited look on her face as she left. One could only imagine if she had any feelings for him in the first place.

"Hey," Joshua smiled as he sat down on the grass. Vernon joined him.

"I cannot understand just how their feelings suddenly change." Vernon continued. Joshua couldn't help but laugh.

Three months had passed by since he came here. He had adjusted to the small-town life. His house was still in chaos, with Jeonghan and Seokmin constantly bickering about something. But he felt much better being surrounded by them. With Jeonghan by his side, he made new friends. Seungcheol and he were on talking terms. Vernon had recently become one of his close friends. Life was good.

Joshua couldn't help but smile. _Time indeed changes everything_.

"So, are you really in a relationship? Or was it just to refuse the girl?" Vernon asked as he took a bite of the sandwich that Joshua prepared.

"I am. It's been two months now." Joshua answered.

Vernon was shocked. "How come you didn't tell me?"

"We had decided to keep it to ourselves for now," Joshua said. A soft expression filled his face. He hadn't noticed how these two months passed by. With Jeonghan, everything felt so natural. They spent most of their time together. From attending classes to walking home together. Gradually, everything in his life became about him. He smiled lightly. When he first came here he didn't expect to make any friends. He just wanted to live his life peacefully with his mother. But still, he stumbled upon someone who changed his life. Now, at this moment, Shua couldn't imagine his life without Jeonghan.

"So, who is she?" Vernon asked. Shua didn't hear him. He was deeply immersed in his thoughts as he looked up.

Jeonghan walked to them as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Vernon followed Shua's gaze. "Or should I say he?" He smiled as he figured out.

Jeonghan sat down beside Shua, letting out a deep breath. Shua offered him the milk tea. "I shouldn't have taken science. It's becoming a pain in the ass." Jeonghan exclaimed as he lay his head on Shua's shoulder.

Both of them chuckled. They continued with their lunch as they engaged in random conversation. 

Suddenly, Shua's phone rang. Jeonghan quickly peeped into it. "Why is my brother calling you?" He frowned.

Shua picked up. A loud voice asked. "Shua-hyung? Where are you?" Jeonghan pressed his ears to the phone. Shua tried to push him away. But Jeonghan didn't budge. Vernon watched them as he let out a laugh. The entire scene was amusing.

"Why? What's wrong?" Shua asked as he got up. Jeonghan was disturbing him too much. Shua walked further away as he continued talking to Seokmin.

"How did you guys end up dating each other?" Vernon asked.

Jeonghan's eyes flung open. He looked at him with shock. "Did he tell you that?" He asked.

"No, I just figured it out." A smirk appeared on Vernon's face. Jeonghan narrowed his eyes for a second but then relaxed. He leaned against the tree as he said, "I wanted to leave this school." His words surprised Vernon. "I wanted to leave, and he wanted to come with me. So, I stayed with him." Jeonghan said with a smile. As time passed by he had come to value Shua more. They fought randomly but Jeonghan was too attached to him. He just couldn't let him go anymore. His feelings for him grew deeper each day. Although he wasn't able to express it at times Shua understood that. He would just lean on his shoulder and be with him. Forever.

 _Shua was his home_.

On the other side, Seokmin continued, "Next month, there will a musical audition. Schools from different parts of the country will be participating in it. I wanted to take part in it with Seungkwan."

"Well, that's good then," Shua replied.

"So, can you play for us?" Seokmin asked excitedly. "Wait. Do one thing. Why don't you come to the music room? We can talk here." He continued.

"Okay then."

The three of them entered the music room. Seokmin and Seungkwan were already going through numerous songs in their playlist. They had to choose one to sing.

"Shua-hyung? Will you play the guitar for us?" Seungkwan asked. Vernon had already introduced him to Joshua before. Vernon went to sit by his side to check the songs.

"Did you select your song?" Joshua asked as he kept the bag aside. Jeonghan sat down on a chair. He was strangely silent the whole way. Shua nudged him a little. Jeonghan looked up at him but didn't say anything.

"We are still selecting. We didn't want to use the music from the song. It would be like attending a karaoke then. We wanted to make it sound original. Like an acoustic cover for the song." Seungkwan explained.

"There are several songs here that we want to sing. Like this one here." Seokmin played the selected song.

"I don't think the acoustic version will sound nice for this song. Like the beat is fast. You need to tone it down for the guitar, but then this song will lose its essence." Vernon replied.

"Yeah, and also singing an acoustic cover differs from singing the original song," Shua replied. He thought for a bit as he went through his playlist. He suddenly looked up. "Why don't you write your own song?" He suggested. "I mean Vernon's lyrics are fantastic."

"My lyrics are most suitable with a hip-hop beat. I think-" Vernon's eyes suddenly turned to Seungkwan. The latter had instantly made such a cute, pleading face that Vernon cringed a little. "What are you doing?" He asked.

"Let's make an original song." Seungkwan's face lit up brightly.

"No." Vernon instantly replied.

"Write the lyrics for us."

"No."

"Let's take part together."

"Are you even listening to me?" Vernon exclaimed as the others burst out laughing. Shua giggled as he turned to face Jeonghan. The latter had a solemn expression on his face. _Why was he so silent? What's wrong?_ He didn't say much.

"Then it's decided we'll make an original song. We have one month. We will make the tune together." Seungkwan announced. "Shua-hyung, you'll play for us then?"

"Hmm okay," Shua replied. It was at this moment Jeonghan turned to look at him. But he stayed silent. Shua noticed this sudden change of expression.

"It's settled then," Seokmin exclaimed. "Jeonghan-hyung? Where are you going?" Jeonghan had taken his bag and walked on.

"You all continue, I have a class to attend." He said as he exited the room.

The atmosphere had strangely turned silent.

* * *

A mellow tune-filled up the corridors of the empty school.

The sky was black. The wind paced up as the rain drizzled on the windowpanes. A dim light flickered in the music room.

The long, slender fingers gracefully touched the reeds, as the melody resounded in the room. His eyes closed as he immersed himself in the rhythm. A boy sat in the corner of the room, playing the piano.

The music was soft. 

The clouds roared as the lightning lit the sky.

"Why are you still here, Junhui?" A boy entered the music room and leaned on the door frame.

Junhui stopped playing and looked up.

"I was waiting for you."


	3. Seeking Your Love

**_Junhui_ **

_“The child is so pitiful.”_

_“Who could’ve thought he would lose his father too?”_

_“Doesn’t he have any relatives? Will he go to an orphanage then?”_

_The young Junhui sat with his father as he observed the surrounding people. His father had asked to accompany him to a funeral. He had heard the manager of his father’s company had passed away a few days back. He suffered from a heart attack. Junhui didn’t know him very well. But for the sake of his father, he attended his funeral. But he couldn’t help but feel a bit annoyed. He looked at his father. The latter had maintained a very calm demeanour the whole time. He gently sipped his tea as he ignored his surroundings._

_“Who are these people talking about Dad?” Junhui asked curiously. An eight-year-old boy hadn’t experienced the actual world. He was brought up under the care of his two loving parents. So, he hadn’t the slightest idea of how people gossiped. Even during a funeral. Somewhere Junhui didn’t feel right about this._

_“Don’t listen to them, Junhui.” His father kept the cup aside. “C’mon we should pay our homage.”_

_Junhui followed his father silently. He could hear the whispers as the crowd turned their attention towards them. Their eyes were on him. He felt uncomfortable. He quickened his strides to walk beside his father._

_‘Isn’t that the president of the Huya Company?’_

_‘He personally came to pay his respects. He sure is kind.’_

_‘He should be. After all, Mr Xu was the manager of his company.”_

_Junhui tugged on to his father’s coat. The whispers were all around them. His father gently held on to his son’s hand. “Don’t listen.” His father gave him a small smile. Junhui let out a small breath as he nodded._

_The two of them walked into the service hall. A portrait of the late Mr Xu was placed at the front of the room. Flowers and garlands were kept in front of it. People paid their respects as they bowed in courtesy. The others were seated on the chairs that lined the hall. Junhui walked down the hall with his father. Pairs of eyes followed them everywhere as the whispers continued._

_A young boy stood in front of the hall beside the portrait. His head bowed down, his hands one on top of the other. Junhui noticed him for a long time. Who is he? Why is he standing there all alone? He kept his eyes on that permed-hair boy._

_His father paid his homage as he offered the garland. “Thank you for being by our side for all these years. I’ll take it from here. May you rest in peace now.” He closed his eyes as he said a silent prayer. “Junhui pay your respects.”_

_He nodded as he went forward. Junhui bowed down and kowtowed in front of the portrait of Mr Xu. A range of hushed voices echoed the service hall._

_‘The president and his son sure are humble. Bowing and kowtowing to a manager.’_

_The young boy clenched his fists. He kept his head lowered as he listened to the murmurs. Do they still need to talk about my father in this way? It is his funeral today. A surge of emotions filled him up. Emotions that combined both of hate and anger. Why did they have to come? Why? He clenched his teeth, biting down all the hatred. Tears accumulated at the corner of his eyes._

_Junhui watched the young boy. His fists had turned white. Junhui couldn’t help but notice it. He slowly walked to him. He held out and touched his fists. “It must hurt. Your fists have turned white.” Junhui said softly._

_The young boy was alarmed. He nervously took a step back as he brushed off his hand. Junhui quickly withdrew his hands at the sudden reaction of the boy. The whispers in the hall grew louder now._

_“Minghao.” A deep voice called him. The young boy looked up as he approached him. Junhui quickly went to stand by his father’s side as the latter continued. “I’m deeply sorry for your loss.” He bowed to show his respects._

_“Thank You, Sir.” The young boy bowed down as he acknowledged him._

_Junhui looked at them both. Somewhere he could see a hint of hatred in the boy’s eyes. But he didn’t say anything. His father ignored the whispers. “Minghao, come with me.” He said as he led the small boy to the corner of the room. Junhui followed them silently. He continued glancing at the boy. He couldn’t understand his feelings. He just felt sad. He didn’t know why._

_“Your father was a person I genuinely treasured. Aside from working in the company, he was one of my close friends.” He turned to look at Minghao. “You were most precious to him, Minghao. He wanted to be with you, to watch you grow up. Sadly, he was taken away from you a lot sooner.” He kneeled to face him. “I know I can never take your father’s place. But if you would allow me, I would like to take care of you. The dreams he had for you. Let me fulfil it for you.”_

_Minghao didn’t look at him. He had nothing to say to him. How could he accept this stranger as his guardian? How could he just forget everything and start afresh? Join a new family? A family full of strangers. Tears rolled down his eyes. How could he move on? How could he just forget his family, his father, and accept someone else? He didn’t know what to do. Why did he have to leave him? Why did his parents have to leave him so soon? What should he do? He closed his eyes as he broke down. The tears came surging down as he sobbed._

_Junhui could feel an ache in his heart. He didn’t understand why. He saw the boy crying in his father’s arms. “We’ll give you a home.” His father said as he consoled the boy. Junhui stood there watching them._

_“Junhui, come here.” Junhui obediently walked to his father. “This is Minghao. He’ll stay with us from now on.” Junhui looked at him, but Minghao ignored. “He’s younger to you so please take care of him.”_

_“Sir, there’s a phone call for you.” One of the bodyguards handed the phone to his father. As they walked away, Junhui inched closer to Minghao. The latter had just wiped his tears._

_“Don’t cry,” Junhui mumbled. Minghao looked at him. His eyes all swollen._

_Junhui let out a small smile. He picked up his courage and held Minghao’s hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you.”_

_His eyes widened as he heard those words._

_But this time he didn’t let go._

Junhui resumed playing the piano. His fingers danced gracefully on the reeds as he hit each chord perfectly. The clouds roared, but the rich music enveloped the sound of thunder.

Minghao kept his bag aside as he walked. He sat beside him as the latter changed into a soft tune. The music was gentle and Minghao listened to it. It’s as if the tune expressed all the emotions he had kept hidden for years. The feelings he had never put to words. 

He touched his arms gently as Junhui continued to play. “Junhui?”

Junhui sucked in a deep breath. His fingers paused as he looked up to meet his eyes. He brushed a strand of hair from his face. 

Minghao gazed at him. A small voice whispered in his head, _Don’t. Don’t hurt him._ He closed his eyes. He could feel the heaviness in his heart. The pain it caused him. He didn’t want to hide it anymore. _Junhui, I want to be with you. I want to stay by your side. Do you hear my voice? ‘_

He slid his fingers on his cheeks. His anxiousness, Junhui could feel that. He brushed his cheeks as Minghao leaned on them slightly. Junhui inched forward as their foreheads touched. “Minghao, I-”

“Why did you come back?” Minghao opened his eyes as he asked. He tried to pull back, but Junhui kept him steady. He could see the pain in his eyes. The pain he had caused him. He wanted to reach out and hold him. He wanted to lean forward and kiss his eyes. Anything that would lessen his suffering. 

_He hurt him. Again._

But he stayed still. 

“I came back for you,” Junhui replied. He held onto him, but Minghao pulled back. He picked up his bag and walked straight to the door. 

He didn’t turn back.

“You should return now.”

* * *

“So, my friend Seungkwan and I will practice our vocals for now. Vernon will write the lyrics. Once it’s done Shua-hyung will help us with the tune.” Seokmin explained the process of the song-writing. Shua’s mother listened to him. She had returned early and decided to join the three of them for dinner. Seokmin was so excited that she couldn’t help but be happy for him. In this short time, she understood his love for music. So talking about the musical auditions made him beam with joy.

As she listened to Seokmin, she noticed the other two. Both Shua and Jeonghan were sitting on the couch. While Jeonghan went through his textbook, Shua sat with his guitar. Both of them were strangely silent today. Shua glanced at him a few times, but Jeonghan ignored.

“Jeonghan, is everything alright?” Shua’s mother asked as she brought a plate of apples for them. “You look stressed.” 

Jeonghan immediately sat up. He put his textbook down and moved aside on his couch. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.” He smiled as he answered. She took a seat beside him. Jeonghan munched on the apples. Shua just sat there watching them but didn't say anything. _Something was definitely wrong_.

“Don’t overburden yourself. You have your studies and then you work. It’s okay to take a break sometimes.” She advised. Jeonghan stayed silent. She looked at him. There were a few creases on his forehead. He wasn’t stressed about work. It was something else. She eyed her son, who was quietly taking an apple now. He quickly ignored them again. _Yeah, he did something._ “Shua, why don’t you go warm up the food?” She instructed. 

He kept his guitar aside and walked to the kitchen. Seokmin had already gone to his room to complete his homework.

She turned to Jeonghan. “Sometimes it’s better to say it.” He was surprised as he looked at her. She continued, “I’m not asking you to tell me. But you shouldn’t keep it in your heart. Your worries will grow more. So, tell it to someone who will understand you.” She smiled as she patted his hand. Jeonghan sighed. 

He turned to look at Shua. He wanted to talk to him. No one would listen to him more than Shua. It’s just he didn’t know what to say. He could not figure out his anxious feelings. He knew Shua was worried about him. He was silent the whole time, didn’t ask much. He was giving him time to figure out his feelings. But as time passed by, he was growing more worried. Jeonghan knew that.

They had finished their dinner. Shua’s mother insisted Seokmin to sing her a song. So both of them had gone to another room. It was probably to give them some time alone. As Shua finished up cleaning, he boiled up some milk.

Jeonghan walked up to him. He rested his head on his shoulder. Shua held his hands as he gently stroked his fingers. “Don’t stay up too late. You need to rest.” 

“I didn’t know how to react,” Jeonghan said. Shua looked at him. “About the musical auditions.” 

Shua poured the milk in a cup and offered to Jeonghan. He held on to his hands as he listened to him. “I don’t want to interfere with his dreams. Seokmin always loved music. I knew that. But…” Jeonghan paused for a while before he continued. “Last time it did not end so well. So, I’m not so sure about this.” Although he explained, somewhere, he still felt a little anxious. There was a hidden fear that terrified him. He couldn’t say that out loud. 

Shua noticed his uneasiness. He was worried about his brother. He didn’t want his brother to face the same rejection again. 

“Let him try. This is something he wants.” Shua smiled at him. “It’s natural for you to worry about him. He’s your brother, after all.” Jeonghan took a sip from the cup as he listened to him. The anxiety was still there. He understood everything, but still, something pricked him. Shua kissed his hair. Jeonghan gazed in his eyes for some consolation. “This time you’re not alone. I’m here with you. If something happens, we’ll be there for him.”

That smile on Shua’s face was a comfort to him. _He wasn’t alone. Shua was there now._ Although some worry remained, he brushed it off. It’s okay. As long as he’s with him, things will be fine. Jeonghan let out a smile. Seeing that, Shua let out a breath.

“Aren’t you sighing a lot these days?” Jeonghan tapped his head. Shua frowned.

“You are in no position to say that.” Shua tapped his head in exchange. “Especially when you ignore me the entire day.” He scowled.

“Well, you deserved it.” Jeonghan finished his cup. He proceeded to wash it. Shua followed behind.

“Why is that?”

“Because next time you’ll think twice before you say yes to anyone.”

“Is that so? Then who should I say yes to then?

Jeonghan looked at him. A smirk lit up his face.

“Only me.”

****

_‘How dare you come home? How dare you?’_

_‘We don’t want you. No one wants you.’_

There were distant shouts as he ran. He found himself in the corridors of his school. He looked around. 

_‘You’ll be alone. No one will come.’_

The voices followed him everywhere. But he couldn’t see anyone. He just ran. They had found him. He didn’t want to go back. He screamed, “Go away.” 

He locked himself in the music room. The voices drew closer. He sat on the floor with his hands on his ears. He didn’t want to hear it. “Go away. Just go.” He shrieked. He kept his head low.

_‘Do you think you can escape?’_ The voice drew nearer. _‘We will find you.’_

He looked up. 

The whip came down on him.

“Hey, wake up. Seokmin, wake up.” 

He woke up gasping for breath. He panted for breath. What was that? He looked around him.

“Seokmin.” Jeonghan nudged him violently. Seokmin pushed him as he clenched his blanket. “Hey, it’s me. Seokmin, it’s me.”

Seokmin couldn’t analyze anything. Where was he? He was so terrified of those voices. It all came back to him. He didn’t want to go back. He didn’t want to be whipped again. The dream had scared him.

Jeonghan saw his brother panicking. His face was white, his body drenched in sweat. He was shuddering with fear. His lips quivered as he muttered some words. _‘I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go back._ ’ He had seen a nightmare. Jeonghan pushed the blankets aside and pulled Seokmin to a hug. He patted his back as Seokmin trembled. “I am here for you. I am here.” He whispered slowly. He rubbed his back to ease the tension.

He was cold in sweat. But a pair of warm hands were consoling him. He couldn’t understand much, but he knew someone was there. His hands tightly embraced him. As his breathing slowed down, he rested his head on his shoulder. From all the voices that hissed, there was one that sang.

He was drawn to it. He followed the melody of the song. It was something he heard in his childhood. His mother used to sing to him. When he was young, his mother would tuck him in his bed. Then she used to sing. The song that depicted love, lasting forever. A cool breeze hit his face as he listened to it. 

He slowly opened his eyes as he ushered back to reality. Jeonghan was holding him as he sang. His voice was soft and it complimented the sweet melody of the song. _So, it was his voice_. He quickly hugged him back. His brother was always there. No matter what happened. No matter how many times he sees that nightmare. He would pull him back. He had nothing to fear. As long as he had Jeonghan, he was safe. No one would whip him, no one would find him. 

Jeonghan finished the song. “Are you alright?” He asked in a soft tone. His trembles had decreased. Jeonghan pulled back and looked into his eyes. Seokmin returned a smile. 

“I am fine now, Jeonghan-hyung.” He had calmed down. “Thank you for singing to me.” 

“Go back to sleep now. I’ll be here with you.” Jeonghan consoled him as he tucked him in. He asked nothing. He didn’t have to. Everything was clear to him. As he pulled his blanket, Seokmin suddenly held his hand.

“Jeonghan-hyung, stay with me always. You are the only who gives me strength.” Jeonghan looked into his eyes. There was fear. He gently brushed his hair. “I’ll never leave you. We will stay together.” Seokmin's beautiful smile lit up his face. _He had nothing to fear now._

It was past midnight. Shua woke up to a thundering sound. The wind howled as the rain poured down heavily. The curtains fluttered with the wind. He sat on his bed, rubbing his eyes. He looked at his side. The bed was still empty. Jeonghan was still awake. 

He walked to the window as he closed it. He switched on the light as he walked to the living room. There was no one. The windows were open. He closed them one by one. As he strode across the room, he saw the front door ajar. _Why was it open? Did Jeonghan go outside?_ It was pouring outside. He quickly took a blanket from the room and walked to the porch. 

Jeonghan sat there on a chair, lost in thoughts. He was half-soaked because of the rain. But he paid no heed to it. He lay his head on his fingers as he watched the rain. 

Shua was surprised to see him in that state. _What happened to him?_ He could feel his hands tremble. He had never seen Jeonghan in this plight. He touched his hands.

It was cold.

He slowly wrapped the blanket around him. “Jeonghan?” He whispered as he kneeled in front of him. He took his hands in his to warm it. It was icy cold. _How long has he been sitting here?_ “Let’s go inside,” Shua said. 

Jeonghan didn’t move. Instead, he watched him. Shua sat there silently rubbing his hands. The thunders continued. He could feel his heart shatter seeing him in this state. “Jeonghan, what’s wrong?” Shua tightly clenched his hands.

He wanted to say so much. But he didn’t know where to start. Seokmin’s condition had terrified him. His brother was trembling in fear. He couldn’t even recognize him for the first few minutes. Seeing him like that, every ounce of courage that Jeonghan had shambled into pieces. For the first time, he felt helpless. He could protect him from everything. _But how could he protect him from his fears?_ It suddenly brought Jeonghan back to reality. Living with Shua for the past few months was like a dream. Everything was perfect. They were happy after a long time. But it didn’t change their past. It didn’t change where they belonged. That they were still under their foster parents terrified him _. Why did it feel that everything would come crashing down one day?_ _That they would find them and take them back. Or worse, they would separate him and Seokmin. They would torture them again._ It terrified him. 

Jeonghan’s grip tightened. Shua could see the anxiety that he had. _Why was he like this?_ He sat down beside him and pulled him to his arms. He clutched him as he buried his face in his neck. “Jeonghan.” He continued whispering. 

He held on to him, afraid that it may disappear. He felt his heart racing. _What if everything falls apart? What if I lose my brother?_ He looked at Shua as he lay on his shoulders. _What if I lose him?_

"Shua?” 

Shua looked into his eyes. The eyes that were filled with anguish. He held on to him. _Don’t be like this. Or I’ll fall apart._ He slowly kissed his fingers.

“I want to stay with you.” Jeonghan breathed. Shua slid his fingers on his cheek.

“I am right here. I won’t let you go.”

* * *

“Just why are we having midnight snacks?” Seungcheol asked as he sat on the mattress. Mingyu placed some snacks he had prepared with the beer cans.

“I was hungry,” Mingyu replied, taking a sip from the can.

“Where’s Wonwoo?” 

“He went to visit his brother,” Mingyu answered. It was just the two of them in the apartment. Seungcheol let out a deep sigh as he looked at the window. It had been raining heavily for the past few hours.

“What is with this unseasonal rain?” Seungcheol asked. He gulped down the snacks with his beer. “I wonder if something is about to happen.”

Mingyu let out a laugh. “Still believing those superstitions, huh! It’s just rain.”

Seungcheol smiled as he continued to look outside. He watched as a raindrop trickled down the glass. Jeonghan was disturbed today. Although he denied it, Seungcheol could see it. He was worried about something. After school, Jeonghan came straight to work. Seungcheol had introduced him to the part-time job he worked in. It was at a convenience store. Normally, Shua would accompany them to the store after school. Then he would leave. But today, Jeonghan came alone. Seungcheol asked him about it. But Jeonghan didn’t say anything. 

“Mingyu? What does Wonwoo mean to you?” He asked.

Mingyu choked on his beer. _Why did he ask this question suddenly?_

“Why do you ask?” Mingyu asked as he regained his composure.

“I just wanted to know.”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” He said as he took a sip. Seungcheol looked at him. “He has stayed with me since elementary school. We grew up together. Went to school together. He’s my best friend. My family, even.”

“And your feelings?” Seungcheol asked as he turned to him. “Does he share the same feelings as you?”

Mingyu sighed. “I don’t know.”

Seungcheol didn’t push it anymore. He understood him more than anyone else. He ran his fingers through his hair as he sipped on the beer. 

“What about you, Seungcheol? What will you do?”

“Nothing.” He replied. Mingyu gave him a confused look. “I won’t do anything.”

“Then won’t you ever confess?”

“He knows.” Seungcheol smiled. “Jeonghan is the smartest person I’ve ever met. He knows how I feel. He chose not to act upon it.” He paused. “I guess he just needed a friend back then. Someone who would understand him. Someone he could trust with his thoughts and rely on. I became that person for him.”

“Until Shua came.”

Seungcheol turned his head to look at the rain. _Until Shua came._ He opened another beer can.

“Do you hate him?” Mingyu asked.

“No,” Seungcheol replied. “I don’t have any reason to. They belong to each other.” His smile had an unknown pain. _How could he hate him?_ He had noticed them. Whenever they were together. It wasn’t just that they made each other happy. It was something more. For them, somewhere, it was natural. To be together. It was as if they found their homes. The way they laughed and teased each other, bickering about random things. What they shared was something more than friendship, deeper than love. Seungcheol could feel a heaviness in his heart. “For them, understanding and trust are natural, even love. They just have a special bond that connects them. Like a magnet. When you see them, you just know that they are meant to be together.” His voice cracked as he clenched his teeth. Tears that were piling at the corner of his eyes. “Tell me, Mingyu. How should I compete with that?” 

He looked away as a teardrop rolled down his cheek. He immediately wiped it. He swigged down the beer and proceeded to open another one.

“Don’t drink much,” Mingyu said. Seungcheol let out a smile but stayed silent. “Do you want to give up?”

Seungcheol stayed silent for a while. Not that he didn't think about giving up. But he just couldn't. Gradually he just realized that Jeonghan meant to him much more than he thought. “No. I don’t want to give up.” He paused. He thought for a while before he answered. “Not because I want him to be with me. But because I don’t want to give this place to any other person. I want to keep these feelings. So I can take care of him and protect him whenever he needs me to.”

Mingyu was astonished. _Just what was he doing?_ Seungcheol laughed, seeing his expression. “Why? You feel I’m an idiot?”

“More like a martyr,” Mingyu replied as he finished his can. “You are hurting yourself. Sometimes it’s best to let go.”

“Tell me. How do you let go of the person you love?”

* * *

**_Minghao_ **

_“Minghao. Come, let’s play.”_

_The young Junhui played with his new toy automobile. He looked adorable in his shorts and a t-shirt. He ran across the room numerous times. “Minghao. Minghao.”_

_“Young master, please be careful.” An aged butler hurried in to stop him. “You mustn’t run around. You may hurt yourself.” He continued to brush off his clothes as he advised him. Junhui stopped in his tracks. He quietly strode to where Minghao was sitting._

_The young boy sat on a chair as he continued to draw. His permed hair was neatly brushed. He didn’t pay any attention to Junhui, who was calling out his name. He was deeply immersed in his artwork. He continued to sketch his masterpiece._

_“Minghao.” Junhui sat beside him as he watched him draw. “Will you play with me?”_

_“I am busy now,” Minghao replied with a solemn face. Junhui didn’t poke any further. He knew better than to bother him. They had been living together for two years now. Minghao had moved in with him since his father died. Junhui was very careful around him. Minghao was always so stern that it scared him sometimes. But he really wanted to play. Junhui’s face drooped as he pouted a little. Minghao turned to look at him. Then he went back to sketching again._

_Junhui felt a little sad. He wanted to show his new toy to Minghao. But he was drawing. It’s okay, I’ll show it to him later on. Junhui nodded as he put on a courageous smile. He won’t disturb Minghao. He’ll come back later. He got down from the chair. As he was about to walk out of the room, a voice stopped him._

_“I’m done with my drawing.” Minghao kept his pencil, and he jumped from the chair. “Let’s play together.” A small smile spread across his face. Junhui was so excited, he ran to him. He held his hands and ran out of the room._

_“Young Master, careful. Please don’t run.” The aged butler followed them. No one paid attention to him. The two boys were in their own world. No one could stop them._

Minghao walked into the music room. Junhui was lying against a wall, his eyes half-closed. Minghao smiled _. He was asleep. Some habits never change._

Minghao sat beside him as he opened his book. A small flower lay in the middle of the pages. It had already dried up. He looked up at him. His eyes trailed along his beautiful features. The strand of hair that fell on his face. Junhui had turned out to be a handsome young boy. He gazed at him. 

He placed Junhui’s head on his shoulder. _He would have gotten a back pain again_. 

The sun was shining brightly today. The weather had turned cold after the heavy rain. The rays provided extra warmth as it fell on them. He tucked the flower in another page as he continued to read.

_“What were you drawing back then?” Junhui asked as he kept his books. The young one had just started his math problems. The problems on ratios possessed a threat to him. So, he decided to take a break. He walked over to Minghao._

_“Flowers,” Minghao replied. “Back home, we had a huge garden. My mother loved gardening. When I was younger, she used to teach me how to plant a flower.” A saddened expression filled his face. Junhui placed a hand on his shoulder._

_“Let’s plant flowers too.” Junhui smiled broadly. “I’ll pick them for you. As many as you want.”_

_Minghao was surprised. “You shouldn’t pick many. It will hurt the plant,” He continued._

_“Then how many do you want?”_

_“Just one is fine.”_

Minghao took a sip from his bottle. He kept his book aside and stretched. 

“When did you come?” Junhui asked. He woke up from the sudden movement. He rubbed his eyes as he drank from the bottle.

“Oh. Did I wake you?” Minghao suddenly realized. He immediately turned to him with an apologetic look. “I came a few hours ago. After class.” Minghao kept his book inside his bag. “Let’s go home.” He was about to stand up but was pulled down.

“Wait, not now,” Junhui said. Minghao shot him a look. “I don’t want to go now,” Junhui explained. 

“Your father is hosting a party tonight in your honour.”

“Exactly the reason I don’t want to go.” Junhui let out a sigh. He was tired. Tired of being displayed to a crowd full of strangers. Minghao sat beside him silently. “Let’s run away.” 

Minghao watched him. There was a dark expression on his face. “You know you cannot do that.” He replied as he stood up. “We don’t get what we want.”

Junhui stared at him. He stood up to face him. “Then stay by my side.” He whispered. Minghao stopped to look back. Their eyes met for a while. 

“Junhui,” Minghao whispered as he looked away. 

“Sometimes I wish to go back. When we were kids. No worries, just playing around. The time when you were always with me.”

“In life, it’s crucial to move on. We cannot engage ourselves in wishful thinking.”

Minghao walked away but a hand caught him back. He turned back as Junhui pulled him forward. Their faces were inches away from each other. “How long will it be Minghao? How long are you going to deny it?” They stared into each other’s eyes. Heart racing with his erratic breathing.

“There is nothing to deny.” Minghao avoided his gaze. A slight hesitation in his tone.

“Is that so?” Junhui raised an eyebrow. He firmly held on to him. He brought his face closer to his. “But the flower in your book says otherwise.” 

Minghao was shocked. _He was awake the whole time._ A smile spread across his lips seeing his expression. Junhui smirked a little as he let him go. “Let’s go home.” 

He walked past him as Minghao stood there. 

_“I picked up a flower for you.” Junhui approached Minghao. The latter was deeply engrossed in a book. He looked up to see Junhui covered in dirt._

_“Just how many flowers were you picking?” He frowned._

_“Just one, as you said,” Junhui replied, alarmed at the accusation. He slowly brought out a small white flower from his pocket._

_Minghao was astonished. It was a white clover. He looked at Junhui. The latter had a broad smile on his face, proud of his hard work. Clearly. He had no idea what he meant._

_Among others, his mother used to always pick up these flowers. She used to often gift them to his father. Minghao was always curious about it. He had asked her one day as to why she gave these particular flowers._

_“You give these flowers when you want someone to ‘think about you.’”_

Minghao opened his book to look at the white clover. _He knew everything._

_After all these years, you are the only one I think about_. _You’re the only one I want._

* * *

“Vernon, did you finish writing the lyrics?” Joshua asked as he kept his bag on the floor. The four of them had gathered in the music room. Seokmin and Seungkwan went over their vocal skills as they practiced a random song. Joshua took the guitar and started plucking the strings. 

“Yeah. Almost. I’m not really sure.” Vernon showed the lyrics to Joshua. The latter was busy tuning his guitar. 

“I prefer mine over this,” Joshua exclaimed. The guitar from the music room was old. Hence, it was out of tune. Joshua suffered to tune it back. He looked over the lyrics that Vernon showed him. “Wow. The chorus is good. Try using a few simpler words for the verses. It’ll be easy to sing.” 

“Is the chorus done?” Seungkwan asked as he shifted towards Vernon. He looked it over. “Let’s add some tones. After that, we can change the words, if needed. Like something suitable that will go with the tune.”

The four of them tried adding different tunes to the phrases. As Joshua played different chords, Seokmin sang along. Unfortunately, it just didn’t sound right. “Let’s try a note lower.” Seungkwan sang a phrase. “Something like this. Seokmin add the seconds in a higher tone.” 

The process went on for an hour. The chorus part was still not over. After an hour, they tuned only three lines.

“Ah, this is tougher than I thought,” Seokmin exclaimed as he drank some water. “Composing a new song really takes time.”

“It’s okay. Once we finish the tuning we just have to practice. We still have a month left,” Seungkwan said. He lay on Vernon’s shoulder. The latter went over the lyrics as he made some changes.

“I think you all should come over to my place. I can practice the tunes on my guitar. I’m not comfortable with this one.” Joshua frowned as he tuned the guitar again. 

“Now, I wish Jeonghan-hyung would participate with us,” Seokmin said. A sadness filled up his face. “He has a wonderful voice. It’s soft.”

Shua had a troubled expression. Seokmin had told him before both of them used to sing together. But after their parents died, he never sang again. He had never heard Jeonghan sing before. Although he wanted to hear it, he never pushed him. Somewhere Shua understood him. If the people you love weren’t there to hear you sing, you wouldn’t want to sing again.

“Even Shua-hyung doesn’t sing for us,” Seungkwan said. The words suddenly brought Shua to reality. He had been immersed in his thoughts. Seungkwan had a look of dissatisfaction. Joshua was surprised. What just happened? Everyone turned to look at him.

“What? What is it?” Joshua asked. He was starting to feel those looks on him. The three of them turned their entire focus on him. 

“You never sing for us. Even when you were teaching me the chords, I had asked you. But you always denied.” Seokmin complained. Joshua scowled at him. “Your mother told me you have a beautiful voice.” Seokmin smiled, his eyes shining. Finally, he had trapped his prey. After so many months of waiting, Shua-hyung would’ve nowhere to escape. He giggled.

Shua’s scowl grew more. “Just pretend I’m not here. Go on, practice your vocals.” Joshua ignored their words and started strumming his guitar.

“It’s annoying. You play, yet you don’t sing.” Seungkwan remarked. Joshua was surprised to hear it. Somehow, a pang of guilt appeared on his gentle face.

“It’s not that, it’s just-” He hesitated but didn’t continue anymore. He did not understand how to explain it. It’s been long since he last sang a song. Last Christmas, maybe. When his parents were still together. When he had nothing to fear. Life had changed drastically for him. Moving to an unfamiliar country, starting all over again. He was not ready for this. Amidst all this, he just stopped playing one day. He didn’t need to. There was no one to listen to him. 

“It’s okay. We’ll listen to you some other time.” Seokmin said. The smile on his face was to comfort Joshua. Although he didn’t know the exact reason but Shua’s hesitation had a story. Seokmin understood that. 

The three of them acknowledged it before returning to practice. They discussed the different tunes of the chorus. Joshua’s suggestions helped them sing with the guitar. But somehow just didn’t get it right.

“This is frustrating.” He exhaled. Vernon patted his back. Seungkwan was just irritated. “How can we finish this in one month? We still haven’t got the chorus right.” All the motivation that he provided Seokmin had puffed up in the air. None of them interrupted him. It was best to stay quiet in this situation.

Joshua continued to look at the lyrics as he composed the next tune. Somehow, he was getting the hang of this. He hummed the tune softly. The rest of them were silent. They listened to him keenly. Joshua had no idea when the conversation stopped. He continued to pluck his strings.

“I think I got it,” Joshua exclaimed. A broad smile lit up his face. It was nothing short of a eureka for him. He hummed the tune softly and then added the lyrics to it. His gentle voice had given a new edge to the chorus. The lyrics were soft and his mellow voice complimented it perfectly. The trio just stared at him. 

As he finished the song, Seungkwan stood up. Joshua was slightly taken aback. He took out a paper from his bag and offered it to him. “Sign it.” He ordered. Both Vernon and Seokmin looked at each other. _What is going on?_

Joshua took the paper from his hand. “What is this?” He read through the content.

“Do you think we can do this without you? You’ll sing with us. There’s no way we can sing this song without you.” Seungkwan explained. “Both Seokmin and I have a loud voice. We’ll be good with the high scales. But for the gentle, low tones, your voice is perfect. Our song needs just that.” He continued.

Seokmin was excited. He was unable to hide it. For so long he wanted to hear him sing. Now, if the three of them could participate together, the song would be perfect. _Only if Jeonghan-hyung were here. His delicate voice would complement Shua-hyung’s voice so well. Both are unaware of each other’s voice._ Seokmin nodded his head in rejection.

Meanwhile, Joshua was stunned. He stared at the paper. _How did things turn out like this?_ He quickly gave the paper back to him. “I am helping you guys. That’s enough for me.” He said as he kept the guitar aside.

“But it’s not enough for us. We want you to sing with us. Please Shua-hyung.” Seungkwan pleaded. His face suddenly changed to an adorable expression. “Please.” Joshua took a step back. He looked at Vernon in confusion.

“Yeah, he does that. Sorry.” Vernon explained. “But I’m with Seungkwan. You should take part in this audition. Sing with them.”

Not that he didn’t want to participate. It’s just he wasn’t confident enough. He had never sung in a function, let alone in an audition. He developed his music skills solely on his own. He never had any vocal training like the other two. He might just bring them down. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.” Joshua hesitated. “I’ve never taken part in these things before. I’m not so sure.”

“Shua-hyung?” Seokmin stood up as he walked to Joshua. He smiled as he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s do it together.”

Joshua hesitated. A million thoughts ran through his head. He hadn’t sung for such a long time. There was no one he wanted to sing for. But now, looking at them, he slowly changed his thoughts. Some people would listen to him. Who wanted him to sing for them. These were his friends, the people he treasured in his life. He had found people whom he loved and who loved him back. 

More than that, he wanted to sing. For the person who meant the most to him. 

A small smile spread across his face. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

Cheers filled the room. The four of them rejoiced. Both Seokmin and Joshua beamed in joy.

But far away from them an anxious Jeonghan stumbled upon the goods. 

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol called him as he helped him on his feet. “Why are you so absent-minded? What’s wrong?”

“It’s fine. The goods were in the middle of the floor. I didn’t see them.” Jeonghan lied.

_Only he knew the anxiousness that built up in him_.

* * *

The soft jazz music had filled up the dance room. Minghao swayed his body gracefully, immersing himself in the tune. The silk ribbon in his hands fluttered as he twirled it with skill. The music had penetrated his veins. His legs moved with an elegance, pausing at every posture. The movements were sensual to the eyes of the viewers. Junhui watched him silently. His eyes followed his every move, every bend he made. The fingers that gripped the ribbon, flickering in the air. 

A sweet aroma had blended in the atmosphere.

Minghao’s eyes were closed as he moved his ribbon again. He felt a gentle pull. He paused as he turned around. Junhui held on to the other side of the ribbon. “Let go.” 

“What are you practicing for?” Junhui asked as he tugged on to the ribbon. The pull pushed Minghao forward to him. The frown on his face was clear. He let go of the ribbon.

“For the audition next month,” Minghao replied. He took a sip from the bottle near him. “There is a category for dance.”

“Is that so?” Junhui played with the ribbon. He tossed into the air before catching it again. There was a flirtatious smile on his face. “Let’s take part together.” 

Minghao sneered. “Since, when do you dance?”

Junhui played with the ribbon. “Staying alone teaches you many things.” He twirled the ribbon once. His steps were light as he moved with the music. His movements were much more rigorous but carried a certain poise. Every curve he made was mesmerising. Minghao stared at his every move. The ribbon spiralled around his body as he gently whirled it with his fingers. His playful expression had transformed into that of passion. The sharp gaze in his eyes made his heart race. Minghao blushed slightly. He held out the ribbon for Minghao to take. 

He didn’t hesitate. Dancing was his passion. Minghao held onto the ribbon as he moved. Junhui followed him. The dance moves oozed out a sensation. The ribbon never once tangled. It fluttered, following their every command. The fingers that held on to it tightly. Junhui’s eyes were fixated on him. A sensual energy filled the room. He drew the ribbon, pulling Minghao closer to him. He held onto his waist.

Their bodies reacted instantly as their hearts raced. Minghao avoided his gaze as his breathing escalated. He was so close. Junhui leaned him on the piano. 

“Junhui,” Minghao whispered.

“Do you still deny it?” Junhui breathed. His sharp gaze penetrating through him. His grip on his waist tightened as pressed his lips on his. Minghao was taken aback. He pushed his shoulder, but Junhui’s hands were firm. He deepened the kiss. His hands trailed along his cheek. Minghao closed his eyes to take it in. He couldn’t resist anymore. He wanted it too. He gripped his shirt as he kissed back. His heart pounded in his chest. He inched forward, his tongue tasting his lips. The sudden action surprised Junhui a little. But he didn’t stop. He closed his eyes as his tongue met his. 

_‘You do not belong here. You will never be a part of our family.’_

_‘If you want Junhui’s happiness, let him go.’_

_‘You know it Minghao. You know that he deserves better’_.

Minghao pushed him back. 

The voices had come back again. That women’s voice he tried to escape for years. That kept them away from each other. It haunted him again. 

“Stay away,” Minghao exclaimed as he wiped his mouth. His breathing was frantic. Junhui was astonished. He approached him, but Minghao walked away.

“I already got my answer Minghao,” Junhui called out. “So, stop running away.” His voice was soft. Minghao felt his heart tighten. He didn’t want to. He wanted to crawl back to his arms. He wanted to embrace him again. But that voice. That voice stopped him. He clenched his fists. “Don’t walk away Minghao.” Junhui gently put his arms around him. Minghao leaned into his arms. The warmth of his embrace enveloped him. 

_‘You should leave him if you want him to be happy.’_

“We can never be together,” Minghao whispered under his breath. He pushed his hands and walked away. 

Junhui stood there watching as his silhouette disappeared. A small smile lit up his face.

_Will you still deny it? Fine, but I will never let you go again._

* * *

“Did you fill your career counselling form?” Jeonghan asked as he sat on the couch. He sipped on his milk tea as he looked at the form. Shua sat down beside him. They had received the forms today to decide on their university of choice. But unfortunately, none of them had decided. 

“Not yet,” Shua replied. He looked up at him. “I’ll follow you wherever you go.” A small smile spread across his face. Jeonghan looked up, surprised. 

“What are you saying?” He exclaimed. His cheeks had a tinge of red in them. “This is your career you need to think about.” 

“To be honest, I haven’t thought of anything. I will think about it.” Shua replied as he laid back on the couch. “But I still want to go with you.”

He gazed at him. Just what did he do to deserve someone like him? Jeonghan couldn’t help but smile. “I was thinking of taking math or biology.” His smile had just turned into a smirk.

Shua was shocked. “Please go to biology then.” His face completely changed hearing the word ‘math’. His eyes turned soft as he gave a pleading look to Jeonghan. The latter sneered. “It’s not like you are good in biology either.” He giggled.

Shua scowled at him as he shifted from his place. Just why did he have to say it like that? He rolled his eyes. Jeonghan was enjoying the different expressions that Shua had. He watched him, scowling as he fidgeted with his pen. Shua never failed to amuse him. He laughed a little before going back to work.

“We have a week. Let’s think of something.” Jeonghan said. He went through a list of universities. “What would you have done if you hadn’t met me?”

“There is no ‘if’. I already met you.” Shua smiled. Ever since he met him, he hadn’t looked back. Not once. All he wanted to do now was move forward. Together with him. Somehow, he didn’t want to imagine a life where Jeonghan did not exist.

Jeonghan smiled. There was no way he could argue with him. Somehow, Shua just knew the right words to say. He browsed through the different options. “Where is Seokmin? He should’ve been back by now.” Jeonghan asked as he looked at his watch. It was at half-past eight. 

“Probably still at Seungkwan’s house,” Shua answered. Suddenly, he remembered something. He still hadn’t told him about his participation in the musical audition. He wondered how he would react. “Jeonghan.” A slight hesitation was present in the tone. 

He looked up. “What’s wrong?” Jeonghan noticed the reluctance in his voice. 

“It’s nothing. It’s just-” Shua paused a little. Different thoughts accumulated in his head. He turned around to face Jeonghan. “I have decided to take part in the musical audition.” 

His entire body had turned stiff. Jeonghan stared at him. What did he say? He didn’t believe it. His fingers had stopped working. He had no expression on his face. "

“Jeonghan?” Shua called. 

He turned away from him. He suddenly felt a surge of emotions fill him up. _Did he really take part? Why?_ He kept his books aside as he stood up. 

“Jeonghan, say something. What’s wrong?” Shua exclaimed as he followed him. He held on to his hand.

“Do whatever you want.” Jeonghan walked to the kitchen. He took a bottle of cold water. He needed to cool down. He could feel the anxiousness taking a turn for the worst. He hurriedly gulped down the cold water. _Why did he have to do that? Why?_ Jeonghan clenched his fists as he gulped down more. 

“What do you mean?” Shua walked straight forward. He was about to snatch away the bottle, but couldn’t. Jeonghan’s fingers had turned white as he gripped onto it. “Jeonghan, let’s talk.” He said in a gentle tone. _Why was he acting in this way?_

“There is nothing to talk about.” His voice was bitter. His face showed no expression. There was no hint of anger, no hint of rage. But still, he was cold. Jeonghan snatched his hand away as he walked away. “You have made your decision.” 

A painful expression spread across his face. _Why was he being like this?_ Shua couldn’t understand him for the first time. If there was anger, he would have understood that. If it was rage, he would’ve remained calm. But he was so bitter, so cold. His words had hurt him. But there was no sadness. Only bitterness. It scared at him. _How could he possibly face this? Was it hate?_ His heart pounded in anxiety.

Jeonghan couldn’t bear to look at him. It was not anger or rage. He couldn’t define his feelings. _Why? Why would you do that Shua? Was it really necessary?_ He closed his eyes. He had been trying hard to understand. Trying hard to accept Seokmin’s decision. But the nightmare Seokmin had last night had portrayed the reality. The reality of their past. The scars they bore. _How could he accept all that? How could he forget that? When he was trying so hard to accept, why did Shua walk the same path? How should he accept it??_

“Jeonghan, I-”

“Was it necessary?” Jeonghan rebuked back. His voice bore a strong bitterness. He turned back to look at Shua. “Was it necessary to take part?”

“Seokmin asked me to. All the three of them. They could use my help so I-” Shua tried to explain. He just couldn’t believe what was happening.

“You have already signed the form, already submitted it. Why did you have to tell me now?” Jeonghan said, a touch of sarcasm in his tone. Somehow, he couldn’t bear it. _Why was Shua unable to understand him?_

Shua was annoyed. He had no intention of hiding it. He wanted to talk it over with Jeonghan. But unfortunately, he wasn’t understanding at all. Just why was he being reprimanded. It’s been months since he would sing again. He wanted to sing, not to show off his talent. He wanted to sing for him, the person standing right in front of him. So, why was it that Jeonghan was so against it?

“What is wrong with you? Aren’t you overreacting a little? It’s just an audition. Who knows, we may even succeed? Shua exclaimed. 

“How are you so sure? What if you get rejected?” Jeonghan instantly replied. He raised his voice. His fingers were trembling in anger as he tightly clenched them into a fist. Anger filled him. _Why was Shua being so unreasonable? Does he really believe that this world is so easy? That everything happens according to what we want._

“We can just go back to where we were,” Shua replied. 

Jeonghan was taken aback. _How can you just go back?_ He was silent. “Is it that easy to get past it? Is it that easy to get over rejection?” 

“Jeonghan-”

“I don’t expect a boy like you to understand that.”

Shua was stunned to hear those words. He had never expected Jeonghan to say those words. _Why was it him? Why did he have to say those words?_ Jeonghan knew everything about him. About all the scars he had. Did he really not understand? _Then, why?_

“Do you think we’ll face the same outcome as you did? What are you so pessimistic about?” Shua’s annoyance was clear in his tone. A slight bitterness was present there. Jeonghan couldn’t help but notice it. He had no words to say. _How did things turn out like this?_ “Do you think everyone faces the same consequence? Don't compare my mother with your foster parents.”

Shua quietened. The look on Jeonghan’s face. It broke him. _What did he say? How did he blurt out such words?_ An expression of shock spread across his face. He could feel his heart ache bitterly. His eyes were filled with tears. But he couldn’t cry. He just couldn’t. _Did he have to hurt him in this way?_ His turned around to face away from him. He didn’t want to see him anymore. All the understanding that they built started crumbling. 

_Shua didn’t understand him_.

“You’ve never been beaten before, have you? A cane never struck you. You’ve never been whipped. How would you understand the scars that we have? The shouts and screams that haunt us every night. It still rings in my ears. The scars on my back tell a different story.” A tear rolled down his eyes. He closed his eyes shut. He didn’t know what hurt him more. His wounds or Shua’s words. He wanted to accept everything. He wanted to support him. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t forget all the scars that he had. He could only imagine the worst. _How was he supposed to understand?_ “Tell me. How am I supposed to get past this? How am I supposed to forget everything? I really want to. So, tell me how.”

His voice trembled. Shua slowly walked to him. “Jeonghan.” He couldn’t say anymore. He had hurt him. That’s all he knew. His words hurt the person he loved the most. It broke him. He wanted to console him, apologize for everything. But he couldn’t walk a step further. _How could he have done this? How could he hurt him?_ The person who understood him the most. _How did he not understand him back?_ Jeonghan was scared. He was scared of his past. The scars were haunting him. _How did he not realize that?_

“I don’t want to talk anymore.” Shua stopped in his tracks. Jeonghan didn’t turn back, not once. “I need some time alone.” Shua didn’t say anything. He clenched his fist, controlling his tears. 

Jeonghan walked straight to the door. He wiped his tear as he breathed, “I’ve never once compared your mother with our foster parents.” Jeonghan turned to look at Shua. His face had softened. But that pained expression broke him. “She’s the kindest woman I met since my mother died. I’m sorry if you felt that way.” 

He walked out the door.

Shua fell to his knees. Tears rolled down his eyes. He buried his face in his hands as he sobbed.

_He had lost the person who meant the world to him._


End file.
